A year of achievements, 2020
Thursday, December 31, 2020
A year of achievements, 2020.
2020 may be a stagnant year for some— but for me, it was a year filled with lessons, courage, and fulfilment. It came as a surprise when I was counting my achievements this year. My word of the year— bloom, resonated so well with my growth throughout this year. In a way, I felt like the Universe knew I was ready to bloom and now is the right time.
And so, I bloomed. Like a peony unfurling its light petals towards the bright sky.
I wouldn’t wish to prattle on with purposeless words in today’s post, but to keep it simple and easy to remember when I needed a little evidence of my own power + aptitude.
What I have achieved in 2020:
- Learn new lessons in personal growth and put them into action
- Bought a house (currently in a housing debt but excited to own a cozy home)
- Published articles and got paid for them! You can read my works here.
- Started a side hustle online business here
- Hit my savings goal of RM8,000 this year
They seem like pretty big accomplishments that my 2019 self would have a hard time believing she can achieve— but then hey, she did it! Of course, all these achievements are made possible because of the help from others, some in very uncanny ways.
Everyone has small little things that can be called achievements, if you feel that you have not done anything this year, dig a little deeper— or it may just be on the surface. Something as easy as waking up every morning is already an accomplishment.
Give yourself a pat on the back, I believe you have your own list of achievements.
Till then,
Melody
A week of reflection before 2020 ends
Wednesday, December 23, 2020
A week of reflection before 2020 comes to a close.
Growth, trust and many little nasties.
I sat across the window, zoning out as my eyes stayed unfocused to the blur of images in front of me. On a quiet afternoon, birds rarely chirp but occasionally I can hear the flutter of wings beating against the wind. Strong yet sturdy wings. I was reminded of a quote I came across some time ago.
“In order to see birds it is necessary to become a part of the silence.”
― Robert Lynd
2020 is a year of introspection and I unconsciously needed it.
I needed the time to quiet down my thoughts, hustles and emotions to find out what I truly needed.
This year, the hardest lesson for me to learn and accept is to slow down. When I was chasing for more, I sowed seeds of doubt within me. Am I on the right path? Am I going fast enough? And with those thoughts, the light inside me flickers before it went out— leaving me in darkness and fear.
And it is within the confines of the darkness that I manifested little nasties: depression, anxiety, anger, and loneliness. Oftentimes I cried at night, releasing my anger through torrents of abusive actions and emotional manipulation.
What I discovered was that I was suffering because I was chasing more and more of what I couldn’t afford, leading to the little nasties. If I could just be happy with what I had, I wouldn’t be so affected by the darkness and would actually enjoy what this year has offered me.
Hence I needed to slow down. It wasn’t an easy truth to come to terms with. Especially when I always feel like I was in a race against time. It took me a year to realize I have to dance to my own music, not to anyone else’s.
This year, the hardest lesson for me to learn and accept is to slow down. When I was chasing for more, I sowed seeds of doubt within me. Am I on the right path? Am I going fast enough? And with those thoughts, the light inside me flickers before it went out— leaving me in darkness and fear.
And it is within the confines of the darkness that I manifested little nasties: depression, anxiety, anger, and loneliness. Oftentimes I cried at night, releasing my anger through torrents of abusive actions and emotional manipulation.
What I discovered was that I was suffering because I was chasing more and more of what I couldn’t afford, leading to the little nasties. If I could just be happy with what I had, I wouldn’t be so affected by the darkness and would actually enjoy what this year has offered me.
Hence I needed to slow down. It wasn’t an easy truth to come to terms with. Especially when I always feel like I was in a race against time. It took me a year to realize I have to dance to my own music, not to anyone else’s.
My own pace, time and journey.
It’s never too late to fix, for I am picking up the broken shards and mending them within me. 2021 will be a year where I am much wiser, secure, and overflowing with positive vibes.
2020 is a year filled with lessons of:
- Learning to be content with being alone
- Letting go of toxic habits that have grown comfortable
- Giving more of what you want
- Stop complaining before trying
- Slow down and dance according to your music
- Be grateful for however little you have
- Being selfish will turn you into a lonely soul
It’s never too late to fix, for I am picking up the broken shards and mending them within me. 2021 will be a year where I am much wiser, secure, and overflowing with positive vibes.
Till then,
Melody
A Lesson: Life Goes On
Tuesday, December 8, 2020
A lesson: Life goes on
I will not write long for this post, but just a gentle reminder to grace anyone who has come across this little gift today.
“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.”
― Robert Frost
It was just happenstance when I came across this quote. And like magic, all my stress, burden and worries seem to feel okay. Life goes on, truly. Today you may lose yourself in places no one has threaded on before but tomorrow you may find pieces of yourself laying around.
No matter how bad of a day you’re having, remember that there are only 24 hours in a day— and a new day starts. A new cycle in life, because life goes on. You’ll not repeat the same bad day over and over again.
Some days you’ll struggle, but there is always a rainbow waiting for you the next day.
I had been in a turmoil over my stresses, pressure, and burden. I felt like the lid of Pandora’s box had started to crack as an itch inside of me wanted to just unleash all the nasty monsters. I held the quote like a mantra, and it soothed me— if not all, even just a little bit so I don’t crack under the pressure.
Life goes on.
Till then,
Melody.
Kingdom without a crown: short story
Monday, November 23, 2020
Kingdom without a crown: A short story
A huge mirror stood before me, my reflection stared right back. The frames, carved from pearl and ivory into smooth curves of serpentine creatures and jagged edges of spears. It tells a story. But my eyes, fixated on my own reflection.
Where is my crown?
It is a strange feeling, looking at me through the mirror— I don’t remember the last time I looked at myself, for I hated my disgusting flesh without a crown on my head.
It's been far too long without my crown. My kingdom, lived torn and confused with a feeble, crownless king on its throne. But the tide must change. I must save my kingdom from my own ruins.
It's been far too long without my crown. My kingdom, lived torn and confused with a feeble, crownless king on its throne. But the tide must change. I must save my kingdom from my own ruins.
I ache for my crown every minute, taken by monsters lurking beneath the dark winter chill. They swiped the crown from my head when I was at my weakest.
My memory didn’t serve me well, but I sometimes I feel it in my roughened hands, like cradling a precious gem. However, there was none. In my palms, were nothing but just a fragment of longing for my lost crown.
“Finding your crown will take much courage, and a complicated journey. Why do you try?”
The monster questions every day. I hear them across deep, mystifying oceans and through craggy hills. Most of all, I hear them often in my head.
I do not know why I’m on this journey— to slay the monsters in my head and reclaim the crown I once had. I kept quiet, without an answer but within me a warm tiny light reminds me of the power I once possessed.
I do not know why I’m on this journey— to slay the monsters in my head and reclaim the crown I once had. I kept quiet, without an answer but within me a warm tiny light reminds me of the power I once possessed.
But only when I hold the crown in my hands again, I can glow with even more power than I currently have.
Now, draped in black, and a cloak on my back. I depart on a vengeful journey to reclaim my crown— so warm, bright, and powerful. A journey armed with nothing but a courageous heart and an intense will to regain my powers.
Finish.
--
In this short story, the crown represents self-love. Self-love is easily broken and manipulated, by filthy thoughts and lies fed to us. Some of us suffer from mental illnesses that make us doubt our self-love. But I am here to tell you that you are not alone in this fight. Your brave, precious self is fighting every day so you can return to your former glory.
Claim the crown of the kingdom— the self-love that you once had.
Finish.
--
In this short story, the crown represents self-love. Self-love is easily broken and manipulated, by filthy thoughts and lies fed to us. Some of us suffer from mental illnesses that make us doubt our self-love. But I am here to tell you that you are not alone in this fight. Your brave, precious self is fighting every day so you can return to your former glory.
Claim the crown of the kingdom— the self-love that you once had.
Till then,
Melody
Slow-living blogs to read before bed
Thursday, November 19, 2020
Slow-living blogs to read
Wordsmiths are— a sort of quiet creative. We string words together to create a story. When we were young, bedtime stories were read to us before we lull off to dreamland. As adults, some of us have the habit to read before bed. Like me, sometimes I enjoy reading before bed. Phone away and a book on my lap when I’m curled up in my blanket.
But you see, sometimes fairy tales and fiction don’t cut it.
I crave for something real, I want to read people’s thoughts and see what it teaches me. This is when I look for blogs. I want to see how others write, what they think and what they go through.
In my previous post of autumnal energy and creative works, I have mentioned how wordsmiths or creatives tune into their peak creative energy to concoct their best works. Slow living blogs are my go-to read before bed at times.
In my previous post of autumnal energy and creative works, I have mentioned how wordsmiths or creatives tune into their peak creative energy to concoct their best works. Slow living blogs are my go-to read before bed at times.
“Life tells the most beautiful stories.”
― Adrienne Posey
The slow pace writing, weaved with beautiful and uncommon words draws a story while conveying emotion, thoughts and solutions are the usual mixture of what ropes me in before bed. I love staring at the sentences they use— for its beauty.
Here are seven (7) slow-living bloggers which writes as marvelous as any other wordsmith
Field and Nest
Emmeline Bramble
Guilia Writes
Everything Looks Rosie
Circle of Pines
The Slow Traveller
Elin Loow
Now you can see where I draw my inspirations from, these lovely people behind the blog. It is indeed difficult to find quality blogs these days, I’m glad I stumbled upon them.
Till then,
Melody
What autumn offers: A quiet creative work introspection
Saturday, November 14, 2020
Autumn energy + creative work introspection
Everyone makes autumn a season of creativity and slow-living. Dressed in cute cotton frock, layered with a knitted cardigan, sipping on hot tea while gazing at the beautiful autumn foliage. These are the things I love yet am not allowed to experience, living in a country where it is summer all year round.
Autumn is not about new creative pursuits but sometimes it is about understanding your why and sitting down to piece all your work together. For me, this season, although I am not able to enjoy the chilly winds and longer nights, is all the same.
I take this time to reassess myself and my work. This year especially, I will be using the notion of autumn to think about my self-growth. 2020 has been rocky until now. For 11 months, I was in a constant battle to better myself + work, and right now when autumn has made its mark, I want to throw my sword down and just relish in the temporary peace.
Creating is what I like, this space is my creative space. An atelier that allows me to be creative and experiment with my thoughts + imagination.
The autumnal equinox marks the start of delving deeper into your soul to find creative energy.
Autumn is not about new creative pursuits but sometimes it is about understanding your why and sitting down to piece all your work together. For me, this season, although I am not able to enjoy the chilly winds and longer nights, is all the same.
I take this time to reassess myself and my work. This year especially, I will be using the notion of autumn to think about my self-growth. 2020 has been rocky until now. For 11 months, I was in a constant battle to better myself + work, and right now when autumn has made its mark, I want to throw my sword down and just relish in the temporary peace.
"The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul." - Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Creating is what I like, this space is my creative space. An atelier that allows me to be creative and experiment with my thoughts + imagination.
My writing is not great, I’m not someone who’s gifted with words. I just make it happen with a lot of reading + writing practices.
As I sit down to think, there are so many unaddressed problems with my creative spurts. I have these moments sometimes, like a quick introspection moment. Today is the same, fueled with the energy of autumn (or still summer, in Malaysia. Nevertheless, a great time)— and here is what I found out about my creative works.
1. Inconsistency in my writing style is a struggle to overcome
My writings sometimes pleases me, sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes I write in different tones and rhythms. Where is my consistency? The path to find the perfect blend between my creative style and what others like to read would be tedious and never ending.
2. The stress of not churning out quality content discourages me.
2. The stress of not churning out quality content discourages me.
The reason I write is to ramble about things I find difficult to cope with in my daily life. To occupy my mind when monsters lurk. Writing is my escape, yet sometimes I feel stressed and pressured to deliver a quality piece of work.
3. Staying within my niche is confusing.
I have love for gaming, a little for lifestyle and a lot for self-development and slow living. But sometimes I catch myself drifting from my niche— talking about finances, quick hot travels and fashion. Is this something acceptable for my readers? Or should I just write whatever that pleases me?
Although solutions to these problems are something I may have to think about, it won’t hinder me from learning and developing my skills. Perhaps more reading and practicing will guide me along the path.
Elin Loow wrote a lovely piece on what we should seek to enhance our creative gifts. Read here.
This season of creative work introspection has brought so much awareness about my creative work. It doesn’t matter where you stand, but introspection of your work is something that needs to be done regularly. There may be no autumn in Malaysia— everyday is the same: sunny, hot and sometimes a little rainy but that shouldn’t stop me from accepting what the right time can offer.
This season of creative work introspection has brought so much awareness about my creative work. It doesn’t matter where you stand, but introspection of your work is something that needs to be done regularly. There may be no autumn in Malaysia— everyday is the same: sunny, hot and sometimes a little rainy but that shouldn’t stop me from accepting what the right time can offer.
Till then,
Melody
Newchic Black Friday 2020 Deals!
Thursday, November 12, 2020
Newchic Black Friday 2020 Deals!
*this is a paid postBlack Friday is coming up and I am sure so many of you are already preparing a wishlist, or a to-buy list. Be it electronics, games, clothes, kitchenware, you’ve got a full list! Personally, I mostly hunt for clothing deals on Black Friday and this time I’m sharing a little bit about Newchic’s Black Friday 2020 Deals!
Sale period: 16 November 2020 - 7 December 2020
There will be a big flash discount for a Summer Sale activity. Dates as below!
Black Friday Warm-up (Nov.16-23)
1. Buy 2 Save 50%; Buy 3 Save 60%
2. 18% Off Coupon;20% Off order over $60 Coupon
3. All Under $9.99
Black Friday Sale (Nov.23-30)
1. 20% Off Coupon;25% Off order over $65 Coupon
2. $50 Off orders over $100 Coupon(Only 50), free shipping Coupon(Only 50)
3. Best seller
4. Buy 2 Save 50%; Buy 3 Save 60%
Black Friday Super Sale(Nov.27- 28)
1. Free Shipping (selected countries)
2. 24 Hours Flash Deals
You can find all deals here!
Also with the festive + gifting season coming up, I tend to hoard a bunch on Black Friday as gifts. Especially for men, sometimes getting them clothes may be difficult- they really don’t like to shop. Hence you’ll find various fashion clothes in Newchic. I’ve taken the time to scout the website and list down a few of the things I might get!
Henley shirts for men, there’s just something about henley shirts paired with khaki shorts. I do quite like them.
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| Men's Floral Shirt |
Men’s floral shirts for those who love the beach life- or if summer style if your choice.
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| Silk two-piece pajama |
Silk two-piece pajama. Not only ladies and girls are to be pampered with soft, silk pajamas for bed, but men need to be pampered the same!
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| Teddy hoodie |
Blanket hoodies, who doesn’t love to snuggle and stay warm in the upcoming colder season? I sure do! Cuddled in bed in these comfy blanket hoodies with my game? Yes. And while you’re in your blanket hoodie, a teddy hoodie for your partner may be a great pick for both to keep warm.
Grab the men’s long cardigan as a gift for your brothers, partner or friends as a gift for the winter season. Dress them in style.
Here you have a few of my festive + gift choices for the upcoming colder months where you can get during Black Friday!
Till then,
Melody
5 saving fund ideas to explore
Tuesday, November 10, 2020
5 types of savings you should have
I am lucky to still hold onto my job + to have a roof over my head. How many people can afford to sustain themselves during a global and economic crisis, I wonder? And how many of us have made a large dent in our diminutive savings?
It got me thinking about my own situation, I may have been lucky now but I have to be wary about unforeseen ill fortunes. The future holds so many unpredictable happenings, something unlucky could have happened to us without notice. Though not wishing it to happen on anyone, we can never be too careful in planning and saving financially.
We are rarely prepared for big misfortunes, so let this time teach us a lesson on saving money.
How to save money is one of the search terms I have been googling the past week— to learn, adapt and do. How to save your money is something we have to decide ourselves, some save 30% of their disposable income, some a little more or a little less.
Today’s post is about the types of savings we should all have. To live a smooth and sustainable lifestyle, we must have different types of savings. The main idea is knowing when to use them and what each saving is for. Here are a few fun saving fund ideas to explore. Let’s take a look.
Today’s post is about the types of savings we should all have. To live a smooth and sustainable lifestyle, we must have different types of savings. The main idea is knowing when to use them and what each saving is for. Here are a few fun saving fund ideas to explore. Let’s take a look.
What kind of savings should I have?
1. Slush funds
Let’s not associate slush funds with black funds in this post, but think of it as petty cash. I’m talking about money put aside for small little inconveniences. What constitutes small little inconveniences, you ask? Perhaps something like a sudden need to get some stationeries, or to fix a broken lamp in your room. Instead of dipping into my regular savings account, these slush funds are small amounts of cash (~RM300) put aside in my room that I can take out at any moment.
2. Regular savings
I’m sure everyone has their own regular savings. I have a regular saving account that I monitor daily. What money comes in and what money goes out (to my other accounts/expenditures). This regular savings account holds much more cash in it than my slush fund. All my income comes into this account before I rearrange + re-allocate to different funds. My regular savings account is usually used to cover more expensive or fixed commitments. From groceries, shopping, spa treats to bills. This baby does all the tough work.
3. Cash cushion / Emergency Fund
Oh, everyone has heard of this as well. Emergency fund is basically cash that you can access when you really need money. As my 2nd line of defense (the first being my “slush fund”) I do not tap into this fund at all unless it is truly needed.
This fund is used when you meet an unexpected emergency, such as in the events of job loss, medical emergencies, etc. How much should I be saving for my emergency fund? A good measure of amount in an emergency fund is a 3-6 months worth of expenditure, but if you can afford more then definitely put in more! My emergency fund is a solid 3 month expenditure and it is growing slowly (you know, it's tough saving money). This fund must be very liquid and not used for investments because you must be able to use it immediately when needed.
Something I picked up from Jessi Fearon in her post, I think a gift fund is such a brilliant idea! We’re always gifting something to someone on special occasions— birthdays, weddings, Christmas, just because, etc. When the festive season comes around, we’re often spending more than we planned on gifts. It makes me salty having to dip into my regular savings to pay for gifts, truthfully. Having a gift fund not only helps you to budget, it also makes you feel better not having to dip into your other savings. Debt-free and worry-free gifting season!
I allocate a fixed amount of RM600 into my gift fund in the beginning of the year and budget my gifts according to the fund. If there are leftovers after the year’s gift-giving, the amount will rollover to the next year.
I’m 26, why am I talking about retirement funds already? You see, I’m a worrywart especially when it comes to my future retirement. Think 30 years into the future— would I have sufficient funds to stay alive? I am a firm believer in hustling hard while you can, generating as much money and saving as much while you can. Because when age and time catches up with you, you’ll have lesser means to earn. This is when your retirement fund steps in to keep you afloat.
My retirement funds are in the form of FD (fixed deposit). And I have a good reason for it. This fund is something I don't want to use to invest, but I want to keep it safe— and I mean, very safe. A small amount of interest is sufficient. I pump in additional cash every month to keep it growing but the central objective is to keep it safe.
Do you think you have the right savings all set up? That was the 5 types of saving everyone should have and I believe having these funds can help to be more money-savvy as well as prepared for any unexpected financial issues. Before you prep your other funds, always make sure you have the first 3 down, the “slush fund” + emergency fund + regular savings.
4. Gift funds
Something I picked up from Jessi Fearon in her post, I think a gift fund is such a brilliant idea! We’re always gifting something to someone on special occasions— birthdays, weddings, Christmas, just because, etc. When the festive season comes around, we’re often spending more than we planned on gifts. It makes me salty having to dip into my regular savings to pay for gifts, truthfully. Having a gift fund not only helps you to budget, it also makes you feel better not having to dip into your other savings. Debt-free and worry-free gifting season!
I allocate a fixed amount of RM600 into my gift fund in the beginning of the year and budget my gifts according to the fund. If there are leftovers after the year’s gift-giving, the amount will rollover to the next year.
5. Retirement fund
I’m 26, why am I talking about retirement funds already? You see, I’m a worrywart especially when it comes to my future retirement. Think 30 years into the future— would I have sufficient funds to stay alive? I am a firm believer in hustling hard while you can, generating as much money and saving as much while you can. Because when age and time catches up with you, you’ll have lesser means to earn. This is when your retirement fund steps in to keep you afloat.
My retirement funds are in the form of FD (fixed deposit). And I have a good reason for it. This fund is something I don't want to use to invest, but I want to keep it safe— and I mean, very safe. A small amount of interest is sufficient. I pump in additional cash every month to keep it growing but the central objective is to keep it safe.
Do you think you have the right savings all set up? That was the 5 types of saving everyone should have and I believe having these funds can help to be more money-savvy as well as prepared for any unexpected financial issues. Before you prep your other funds, always make sure you have the first 3 down, the “slush fund” + emergency fund + regular savings.
Life is always unexpected, always prepare an umbrella before it rains.
Darling, saving your way up to creating a worry-free and financially-free life starts early. I hope my post today gave you some insightful lessons and perhaps inspire some of you to start caring more about the fruits of your labor.
On the way towards financial independence,
Melody
What Happened To Ambition And Our Drive To Succeed As We Grew Up?
Thursday, October 29, 2020
*This is a work that I have edited + proofread on behalf of a friend.
The original written article before editing and proofreading is here.
As we grow into adults, we’re smothered beneath responsibilities upon responsibilities. We forget our curious, innocent ambitions and drive to succeed as we grow up. Some of us settle for ordinariness as we just want to be comfortable.
Oftentimes, we lack a strong desire or drive to succeed, mostly because as we grow older, we get beaten down by the voices and opinions of others. Our perspective changes and thus, our ambitions are kept in a locked chest, nearly forgotten. We get so busy fitting into society or our bubble of comfort, we just want to stay afloat with whatever we have— never pressing on for more success. Hence when we are in our comfort zones, our ambitions, and dreams change. We no longer dwell on what we desire but instead, we settle for mediocrity and comfort. That’s when we give up on ambitions.
Ask every 10-year-old what they want to be and they’ll give you very enthusiastic answers.
“I want to be an astronaut!”
“I want to sew dolls!”
Think about us when we’re 10-years-old. For me, it was 15 years ago. What did I tell people when they asked me what I want to be when I grow up? I can’t remember anymore. As we grow older, things change, and we can have new ambitions. But how far are we straying away from making it happen?
Curiosity gets the better of us at most times and when we go all in. Just like in a game of poker, “all in” means that we give our best shot at winning. However, most people are afraid of going all in. Why? Because they are frightened by what they think they will lose.
The same applies to life. We lose more than just money in life – loss of trust for the promises that we did not keep, loss of friendships, etc. What happens when you don’t hit your goals? You lose and this is what intimidates us. We are afraid to lose.
When we are afraid to go all-in and give our best when we try to achieve our goals, chances are, they won’t happen at all because we are afraid! By definition, success means an accomplishment of your purpose or your goals. But what is success without failure? If you said you wanted to be a reputable lawyer, go ahead! If you wish to start a business selling cookies, go ahead! Whatever it is you have in mind, don’t be afraid to get going and make it happen. The train of opportunities waits for no coward.
Not having a purpose in life and just passing your days without a clear ambition in mind is lackluster. When you have a purpose, knowing what you love and have passion for your ambitions, you get a clearer picture. A great example to find your purpose is to ask yourself “why”. In many instances, most people would ask why they are doing something. An example, why am I eating? Because I’m hungry. Or why am I drawing? Because it ignites my passion. “Why am I working?” Because I need money. The answers to your “why” is what fuels your drive to succeed.
When was the last time you asked yourself why you are doing something? Why are you in this current situation or place in life? And just because we forget to question ourselves, our purpose gets blurred. Our ambition seems foggy and as time passes, it gets forgotten.
There are many inconsistencies in life. As working adults, there are times where we are tempted to procrastinate at work. Oh, I know we all procrastinate at some things, but we are so good at it, we just never get caught. We work hard for a day or two, and later on, we tend to become lenient towards ourselves at work, procrastinating at every chance we get because we might feel that “we can do that later” or“we can do this tomorrow”.
We promised to wash the dishes later - the next day came around and the dirty dishes are still in the sink. We promised to do it but we didn’t follow up on our promises sometime later. The same applies to our ambitions and drive to succeed. We keep thinking we can work on it the next day or the next. But to succeed in our ambitions, we need consistency.
When you choose to go all-in, you give yourself towards what you want to achieve in life. Be it your ambition or your goal. Your vision is what can be, what you believe, or faith in. Because you believe in it, you decide to take the leap of faith not knowing what is down in the rabbit hole. Will there be water? Or will you just hit the rock bottom? Most of us are caged in what we are taught and what we were told. However, isn’t it more exciting to go out and experience the world for yourself? Take the leap of faith.
Don’t be afraid, belief in yourself or your prowess. Having faith in yourself that you can do it and not letting voices or opinions tell you otherwise. If you think you can do it, do it. Start by doing the simplest things— you take one thing, one day at a time. Failures are bound to happen yet it's what you choose to do with those failures makes you take the leap of faith. Are you going to let an inconvenience or fear beat you down and stay down? Or are you going to get up and leap again?
Set milestones of tiny goals for yourself. Tiny goals will lead you towards your success and ambition. Tiny goals do look less intimidating and are easily achievable. Imagine looking at a giant pile of clothes to wash versus a few shirts to clean. Which would look more intimidating?
Tiny goals such as waking up at 6.00 AM every day or read one book a month is a great way to get started. Make sure you look it through because if you don’t what is the point? Discipline yourself and chug away. Set disciplinary actions if you don’t follow through. No video games, no heading out for a movie if you are not able to complete your tiny goals of the day. Starting the first step in the right direction is better than to not do anything at all. To find your drive, you need to know why you are doing it.
Introspection is one of the most common ways to understand yourself. Your goals, emotions, and thoughts. The same applies to this scenario. Ask yourself, what do you want to achieve or see yourself having – putting food on the table, working in reputable firms, start a life with your partner, afford better education for your children, etc. All these questions lead to asking yourself the big W-H-Y. To find your drive, you need to know why you are doing it.
You are working hard because you want to afford a new car next year. You’re burning the midnight oil to study hard because you want to enroll in your dream course at university. Every action is related to a “why”, so find yours. Ask yourself “why” you are doing whatever you are doing right now.
At the end of the day, finding out your purpose would help you to not only figure out why you would want to achieve a goal but consistently motivate you to continue working towards it.
If you hit the gym today, come home 20 minutes later, you look at yourself in the mirror, you will see - nothing. The next day you do it again - 20 minutes in the gym and you look in the mirror - nothing. However, if you do this every day, I promise you that you will get in shape— you will see results.
The same principle applies to drive yourself to succeed in your ambitions. It's not about how big or how much you can do, it's about how long you keep doing it. A journey never stops, it will only stop when you stop.
I do understand how tiring it is, to keep going but my ambition still seems so far. I feel like giving up. But if I take a quick look around, I’ll see how far I’ve come. Tough it out and continue, you’ll find that you’re closer and closer to the finishing line.
There are many things that we think we can’t do, and that happens when we stop believing and lose confidence in ourselves, thus not being able to put our hearts into making it happen. Most of us are lost, not knowing where to go from wherever we are— some of us are not even sure if we are on the right path in life. We get confused and intimidated by the people around us questioning us of our ambitions and future.
I’m here to remind you that you are not the first to go through this puzzling part of life and you will not be the last. As long as you remember that you used to have great, big ambitions, stay the course— no matter how big or how many things you dream of wanting in life. It is always our ambitions that drive us forward. Stop staying stagnant in your garden, water it, and watch it bloom.
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This article was initially published on Crunch by Nuffnang here.
The original written article before editing and proofreading is here.
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Self Check-In Questions You Should Ask Yourself On A Weekly Basis
As we grow into adults, we’re smothered beneath responsibilities upon responsibilities. We forget our curious, innocent ambitions and drive to succeed as we grow up. Some of us settle for ordinariness as we just want to be comfortable.
Oftentimes, we lack a strong desire or drive to succeed, mostly because as we grow older, we get beaten down by the voices and opinions of others. Our perspective changes and thus, our ambitions are kept in a locked chest, nearly forgotten. We get so busy fitting into society or our bubble of comfort, we just want to stay afloat with whatever we have— never pressing on for more success. Hence when we are in our comfort zones, our ambitions, and dreams change. We no longer dwell on what we desire but instead, we settle for mediocrity and comfort. That’s when we give up on ambitions.
Ask every 10-year-old what they want to be and they’ll give you very enthusiastic answers.
“I want to be an astronaut!”
“I want to sew dolls!”
Think about us when we’re 10-years-old. For me, it was 15 years ago. What did I tell people when they asked me what I want to be when I grow up? I can’t remember anymore. As we grow older, things change, and we can have new ambitions. But how far are we straying away from making it happen?
Why do we lose our ambition and drive to succeed as we grow up?
1. We are afraid of commitment
Curiosity gets the better of us at most times and when we go all in. Just like in a game of poker, “all in” means that we give our best shot at winning. However, most people are afraid of going all in. Why? Because they are frightened by what they think they will lose.
The same applies to life. We lose more than just money in life – loss of trust for the promises that we did not keep, loss of friendships, etc. What happens when you don’t hit your goals? You lose and this is what intimidates us. We are afraid to lose.
When we are afraid to go all-in and give our best when we try to achieve our goals, chances are, they won’t happen at all because we are afraid! By definition, success means an accomplishment of your purpose or your goals. But what is success without failure? If you said you wanted to be a reputable lawyer, go ahead! If you wish to start a business selling cookies, go ahead! Whatever it is you have in mind, don’t be afraid to get going and make it happen. The train of opportunities waits for no coward.
2. We do not have a clear purpose.
Not having a purpose in life and just passing your days without a clear ambition in mind is lackluster. When you have a purpose, knowing what you love and have passion for your ambitions, you get a clearer picture. A great example to find your purpose is to ask yourself “why”. In many instances, most people would ask why they are doing something. An example, why am I eating? Because I’m hungry. Or why am I drawing? Because it ignites my passion. “Why am I working?” Because I need money. The answers to your “why” is what fuels your drive to succeed.
When was the last time you asked yourself why you are doing something? Why are you in this current situation or place in life? And just because we forget to question ourselves, our purpose gets blurred. Our ambition seems foggy and as time passes, it gets forgotten.
3. We are lazy
There are many inconsistencies in life. As working adults, there are times where we are tempted to procrastinate at work. Oh, I know we all procrastinate at some things, but we are so good at it, we just never get caught. We work hard for a day or two, and later on, we tend to become lenient towards ourselves at work, procrastinating at every chance we get because we might feel that “we can do that later” or“we can do this tomorrow”.
We promised to wash the dishes later - the next day came around and the dirty dishes are still in the sink. We promised to do it but we didn’t follow up on our promises sometime later. The same applies to our ambitions and drive to succeed. We keep thinking we can work on it the next day or the next. But to succeed in our ambitions, we need consistency.
What should I do if I find myself losing my ambition and drive to succeed?
1. Take a leap of faith
When you choose to go all-in, you give yourself towards what you want to achieve in life. Be it your ambition or your goal. Your vision is what can be, what you believe, or faith in. Because you believe in it, you decide to take the leap of faith not knowing what is down in the rabbit hole. Will there be water? Or will you just hit the rock bottom? Most of us are caged in what we are taught and what we were told. However, isn’t it more exciting to go out and experience the world for yourself? Take the leap of faith.
Don’t be afraid, belief in yourself or your prowess. Having faith in yourself that you can do it and not letting voices or opinions tell you otherwise. If you think you can do it, do it. Start by doing the simplest things— you take one thing, one day at a time. Failures are bound to happen yet it's what you choose to do with those failures makes you take the leap of faith. Are you going to let an inconvenience or fear beat you down and stay down? Or are you going to get up and leap again?
2. Start small; Set smaller goals
Set milestones of tiny goals for yourself. Tiny goals will lead you towards your success and ambition. Tiny goals do look less intimidating and are easily achievable. Imagine looking at a giant pile of clothes to wash versus a few shirts to clean. Which would look more intimidating?
Tiny goals such as waking up at 6.00 AM every day or read one book a month is a great way to get started. Make sure you look it through because if you don’t what is the point? Discipline yourself and chug away. Set disciplinary actions if you don’t follow through. No video games, no heading out for a movie if you are not able to complete your tiny goals of the day. Starting the first step in the right direction is better than to not do anything at all. To find your drive, you need to know why you are doing it.
3. Find your purpose
Introspection is one of the most common ways to understand yourself. Your goals, emotions, and thoughts. The same applies to this scenario. Ask yourself, what do you want to achieve or see yourself having – putting food on the table, working in reputable firms, start a life with your partner, afford better education for your children, etc. All these questions lead to asking yourself the big W-H-Y. To find your drive, you need to know why you are doing it.
You are working hard because you want to afford a new car next year. You’re burning the midnight oil to study hard because you want to enroll in your dream course at university. Every action is related to a “why”, so find yours. Ask yourself “why” you are doing whatever you are doing right now.
At the end of the day, finding out your purpose would help you to not only figure out why you would want to achieve a goal but consistently motivate you to continue working towards it.
4. Be consistent
If you hit the gym today, come home 20 minutes later, you look at yourself in the mirror, you will see - nothing. The next day you do it again - 20 minutes in the gym and you look in the mirror - nothing. However, if you do this every day, I promise you that you will get in shape— you will see results.
The same principle applies to drive yourself to succeed in your ambitions. It's not about how big or how much you can do, it's about how long you keep doing it. A journey never stops, it will only stop when you stop.
I do understand how tiring it is, to keep going but my ambition still seems so far. I feel like giving up. But if I take a quick look around, I’ll see how far I’ve come. Tough it out and continue, you’ll find that you’re closer and closer to the finishing line.
There are many things that we think we can’t do, and that happens when we stop believing and lose confidence in ourselves, thus not being able to put our hearts into making it happen. Most of us are lost, not knowing where to go from wherever we are— some of us are not even sure if we are on the right path in life. We get confused and intimidated by the people around us questioning us of our ambitions and future.
I’m here to remind you that you are not the first to go through this puzzling part of life and you will not be the last. As long as you remember that you used to have great, big ambitions, stay the course— no matter how big or how many things you dream of wanting in life. It is always our ambitions that drive us forward. Stop staying stagnant in your garden, water it, and watch it bloom.
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This article was initially published on Crunch by Nuffnang here.
5 Tips on How I Manage My Money
Thursday, October 15, 2020
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| Image from Pexels |
5 Tips on How I Manage My Money
*Note: I’m not a financial blogger nor do I have the experience to teach others about managing money. This post is just a compilation of my experience on how I manage my money.
I’m writing this after feeling so inspired by one of my favorite finance bloggers, RinggitOhRinggit. Suraya is such an inspiration to everyone like me— beginners who had a hard time learning to manage money.
I grew up not learning how to plan my finances. The only thing I was taught, was to save as much money as I could. But at this age, saving is something not easily achievable when you live paycheck-to-paycheck and it is definitely not the smartest way to live till retirement.
How I wished schools had taught us the proper ways of budgeting, saving and financial management— in fact, schools should be teaching money management to encourage students to understand the value of money, the pains of earning money and how easy it is to manage your finances.
Yes, you read that right— How easy it is to manage your finances.
Yes, you read that right— How easy it is to manage your finances.
Before I get started, let me give you a quick grasp of my current financial situation.
I am earning a low 5-digit income annually, that is actually very little for someone who is brave enough to be sharing my money management tips. I am in debt. Yes. I have a housing loan to pay, responsibilities towards my family and a lifestyle to sustain.
Before anyone comes at me for not having the right credentials to be talking about money management, please read the disclaimer on top. I am here to share and talk about how I manage my finances.
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| Image from Pexels |
Without further ado, these are my secret tips on managing money.
1. Budgeting your cash.
Out of the many ways you may find on the internet, or perhaps read RinggitohRinggit’s post on budgeting styles, I believe in TWO (2) ways of managing my money.
Looking back at my budgeting spreadsheet years ago, I cringed in horror. The entire spreadsheet is daunting, to say the least. I hated the little boxes and weirdly colored columns, filled with numbers and math that I find so difficult to digest. I stopped after 2 months.
But with the right blend of comfort + details, track & record is one of my favorite ways to do budgeting, and paired with the 50/30/20 method, I ensure my money is always well-tracked and saved in my piggy banks. The 50/30/20 ratio is entirely adjustable, sometimes I make it 40/30/30 (depending on my schedule of unavoidable events such as weddings, funerals etc)
The moment I receive my disposable income, I will place 50% into my savings, 30% into my needs, and 20% into my wants. With that in mind, after putting in 50% of my income into the bank, I work on my track & record to monitor my expenses.
- Track & Record
- 50/30/20
Looking back at my budgeting spreadsheet years ago, I cringed in horror. The entire spreadsheet is daunting, to say the least. I hated the little boxes and weirdly colored columns, filled with numbers and math that I find so difficult to digest. I stopped after 2 months.
But with the right blend of comfort + details, track & record is one of my favorite ways to do budgeting, and paired with the 50/30/20 method, I ensure my money is always well-tracked and saved in my piggy banks. The 50/30/20 ratio is entirely adjustable, sometimes I make it 40/30/30 (depending on my schedule of unavoidable events such as weddings, funerals etc)
The moment I receive my disposable income, I will place 50% into my savings, 30% into my needs, and 20% into my wants. With that in mind, after putting in 50% of my income into the bank, I work on my track & record to monitor my expenses.
I love using bullet journals to track & record my expenses. Perhaps I am old school, I prefer pen and paper. My go-to notebooks are obviously from Shopee, shop yours here!
2. Slash unnecessary expenses
What do you really need?
Sit down and ask yourself, do you really need that cup of Starbucks Cappuccino every Tuesday morning? OR can you settle with just a cup of 3-in-1 coffee from your office pantry? Slash your unnecessary expenses, this will give additional cash for your needs and savings. If I do not need something immediately or if there is a cheaper alternative, I would often pick the cheaper alternative.
Oftentimes, I go on a month of no-buy every quarter year. After 3 months of self-pampering, 1 month will be a strict no-buy month where I will save more cash or allocate more money to clear my debts. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t buy groceries for food, or replace cracked mirrors in your washroom. A no-buy month is about your lifestyle and personal items. Things that make you happy, but logically, you don’t need it. For example, a new CD or a new pair of sneakers. On a no-buy month, you'll have to be discipline and stop yourself from splurging on feel-good items.
Pay off your loans, debts and anything you owe to people or the bank as soon as possible. If you put in $100 every month into ridding your debt, you’ll be debt free faster and in no time. Be disciplined about paying off your debt. I for one, prefer to pay in huge amounts.
3. Set a no-buy month
Oftentimes, I go on a month of no-buy every quarter year. After 3 months of self-pampering, 1 month will be a strict no-buy month where I will save more cash or allocate more money to clear my debts. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t buy groceries for food, or replace cracked mirrors in your washroom. A no-buy month is about your lifestyle and personal items. Things that make you happy, but logically, you don’t need it. For example, a new CD or a new pair of sneakers. On a no-buy month, you'll have to be discipline and stop yourself from splurging on feel-good items.
4. Get rid of your debt
Pay off your loans, debts and anything you owe to people or the bank as soon as possible. If you put in $100 every month into ridding your debt, you’ll be debt free faster and in no time. Be disciplined about paying off your debt. I for one, prefer to pay in huge amounts.
What I would do is to take a whole chunk of money, even if it means dipping into a bigger percentage of my savings to pay off my debt. This is all because I believe that the faster I rid my debt, I can fully focus on seeing more money in my bank account.
5. Create a cash cushion / emergency fund
When you’re comfortable with your current budget and income/expenses, it is time to arrange some money for your cash cushion. This cash cushion and emergency fund are the first thing you will touch during a rainy day. Create a separate bank saving account to store your emergency fund. Store enough emergency funds for a 5-month expense. What I do is to gather my emergency fund and put them in a FD (albeit low return interest rates, the FD keeps me from touching my emergency fund) You may add into your emergency fund whenever you feel like doing so.
I may not be a professional in managing my finances, but I’d like to think I am doing good enough for now. While I am still following + reading up on financial management books and blogs, I believe I’ve implemented the most basic essence of money management into my life.
Darling, we all have to start somewhere. In this beautiful world, money plays a huge part in our lives— the ability to manage your finances will bring you far in life.
Love money + attract more money,
Melody
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Why I refuse to have a morning routine
Thursday, September 24, 2020
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| Image from Pexels |
Why I refuse to have a morning routine
There is only one correct way to start your morning- and it is to not force yourself into a morning routine.
Morning routines have become so superficial and glorified when in truth, it all started as an advice for those who needed an extra push before charging into their daily life. We get absorbed into the idea where everyone preaches about their perfect morning routine— or how you should have a morning routine to stay productive.
When I stumbled upon the idea of a perfect morning routine, everything seemed so exciting. I was excited to kick-start a new day just because I have crafted my own perfect morning routine on pen and paper the night before.
"I can finally fit into this community where morning routines are praised."
Did I follow through my morning routine? No. I may have practiced my perfect morning routine for a good few days before it fell through entirely. Why is that? Perhaps I do not have enough discipline? Or does my morning routine need a good tweaking?
Allow me to admit my shame. I beat myself up for not following through a morning routine like everyone else.
I felt like shit. Am I unworthy to be part of the world where everyone has a productive morning routine?
I realised that stumbling in the morning, looking for my in-room slippers while I waddle to the washroom is my morning routine. Or I wake up and plug in my earphones to catch up on Netflix before I get up from my bed. It varies, but it makes me feel good.
I’m a morning person, I wake up early to start the day— but I do not have a productive morning routine because going with the flow is how I do things. Having a strict routine makes me feel overworked + overwhelmed.
But I learned that morning routines are not for everyone
Did I follow through my morning routine? No. I may have practiced my perfect morning routine for a good few days before it fell through entirely. Why is that? Perhaps I do not have enough discipline? Or does my morning routine need a good tweaking?
Allow me to admit my shame. I beat myself up for not following through a morning routine like everyone else.
I felt like shit. Am I unworthy to be part of the world where everyone has a productive morning routine?
I realised that stumbling in the morning, looking for my in-room slippers while I waddle to the washroom is my morning routine. Or I wake up and plug in my earphones to catch up on Netflix before I get up from my bed. It varies, but it makes me feel good.
I’m a morning person, I wake up early to start the day— but I do not have a productive morning routine because going with the flow is how I do things. Having a strict routine makes me feel overworked + overwhelmed.
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| Image from Pexels |
But morning routines are a part of self-help. Shouldn’t you need it?
Yes and no.
In the end, having a morning routine really boils down to you. If you think a morning routine works wonderful for you and helps you cultivate a growth mindset, then that is great! But if having a morning routine burdens you, then it is best to just do your own thing.
Morning routines should not be preached or forced on one another— after all, we all work in different ways. Some days, having a morning routine makes me feel great, on other days, I dread waking up to accomplishing my routines. An exception, read here to find out about my morning routine during MCO (yes, I had a morning routine back then because it works wonderful for me as have to I work from home)
Darling, it is not a crime to not start your day productive or feeling energetic. The simple truth is that morning routines are to help enhance your day, if you feel better without a morning routine, then do not force yourself into one.
A life without a morning routine is, perhaps better?
Melody
9 Ways To Fall In Love With Your Own Company
Thursday, September 17, 2020
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| Image from Pexels |
9 Ways To Fall In Love With Your Own Company
The most difficult lesson I’ve learned throughout this year is to be content with my own company. Sometimes we all forget how to be happy being by ourselves. We put our happiness on spending time with others— shopping, cafe hopping, dining and texting. But when the busy world gets too busy for us, what do we do?
I’ve struggled to be happy and content with my own company. We’ve gotten so used to others surrounding us, we forgot how to be by our own company. The loneliness creeps in and settles in my tiny heart, stuck on it like a deep, black goo as it spreads all over. I hated being alone— little did I know, I wasn’t truly alone. I still have myself.
Emptiness + loneliness is a very valid emotion you feel when you’re alone.
Even if everyone leaves you, you still have you. Your beautiful soul and body that will be with you till the end of time. The emptiness + loneliness will not go away until you learn to be alone with yourself. Connect with yourself, stop looking for others to connect with you.
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| Image from Pexels |
9 Ways To Fall In Love With Yourself
1. Movie time
There are times when you love to re-watch a movie, but wasn’t able to because “I’ve watched it before, let’s watch something else!”. Seems familiar? Now that you’re with yourself, re-watch your favorite movies as many times as you like! Immerse yourself in your favorite movie + a bucket of popcorn. Best of all, no sharing of popcorn!
2. Read a book
If going out alone may feel embarrassing, bring your mind out for an adventure on your couch. Books are your transport to various parts of your imagination.
3. Self-reflective Q&A
One of the greatest ways to stay in touch with your inner self is by asking questions and answering them honestly. As years go by, we change little by little. We tend to get lost sometimes. Learn a little about yourself and embrace the new change in yourself.
4. Learn a new recipe
Find a recipe that you’d like to try and attempt in cooking it. Cooking alone is therapeutic at times, you can hum along when you’re busy with the skillet while delicious smells waft through your kitchen.
5. Dine alone
Go to the nearest cafe and grab a seat by the corner or window. Enjoy ordering food for yourself and savoring every single mouthful of food. There is no one to rush you through your meals or having to make small talks.
6. Focus on your story
Don’t get too caught up with everyone else’s life. If you’ve been worrying about someone, trust that they are very much capable of their own lives. You should and must focus on yours. Think about your life and where you are at this time. Are you happy? What else can you do to improve your life?
7. Call up your friends and family
Being content alone doesn’t mean you have to cut contact with your loved one. Drop them a text but don’t get too absorbed in waiting for their replies.
8. Do kind things for others
You don’t have to meet someone to be kind to them. Send a care parcel to your loved ones, or write them a postcard. Buy someone coffee, drop it off at their place and leave. Enjoy being kind to others.
9. Enjoy a day at the spa or home-spa
Pamper yourself. Scrub off the dirt on your skin, moisturize your skin. Feel good in your own skin after a good, clean, pampering spa session.
Now that you have started your journey towards falling in love with yourself, evaluate the difference it made you. Do you feel lighter emotionally? Do you feel happier and more fulfilled? Or do you still feel the stinging pain of loneliness?
Falling in love with yourself is the first step to falling in love with life.
Now that you have started your journey towards falling in love with yourself, evaluate the difference it made you. Do you feel lighter emotionally? Do you feel happier and more fulfilled? Or do you still feel the stinging pain of loneliness?
Falling in love with yourself is the first step to falling in love with life.
Darling, embrace being alone with yourself. When you love yourself, nothing else can hurt you.
Melody
How I manifested my own apartment in 4 months?
Thursday, September 10, 2020
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| Image from Pexel |
How I manifested my own apartment in 4 months?
It finally happened! After less than a year of desires + dreams, I have manifested my very own apartment— I now own a property which I can call my own. It felt like such an inconceivable dream, when every day seems to be passing by in a blink of an eye.
I’ve dreamed of having my own place— a space I can call my safe haven for my mind + body. I didn’t like to be under rules that would make me anxious, I didn’t like to live my life having to explain my every move and action. The word freedom resonates within my soul, sometimes I felt trapped as if a tree sparrow confined inside a cage. Where can I spread my wings? That’s when I knew it was time to get my own place.
Another one of the Universe’s calling.
Without going into too much detail, this apartment I found is a newly launched, in-development project situated a good distance from my current workplace, but a tad too far from home. Perhaps it’s a good time to move a little further from home?
This apartment will be completed by 2023, that would be another 3 years. While I am not keen to move in to my own place yet as there are some very personal complications in this part, I believe that I’ll be able to get most of my shit together in 3 years, so it’s a good buffer period to tie up some loose ends before embarking on a more independent lifestyle.
So, how did I exactly manifest my own apartment in 4 months? Within 4 months, I was able to grab hold, signed all the legal papers and made the first payments for my upcoming apartment.
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| Image from Pexel |
How I manifested my own apartment in 4 months?
1. Study + research
While manifesting this dream of mine, I’ve done my fair share of research. Things do not drop onto your open palms without work. I’ve contacted various real-estate agents, done my search on Google and talked to a few of my friends for their input before this deal dropped in front of my eyes, as if it was meant for me for the taking.2. Start visualizing the type of apartment you wanted
There are so many types of apartments out there, 2 bedrooms with 1 bathroom, or a 3 bedroom with 2 bathrooms. Or perhaps a studio apartment consisting of only 300sqf and a mini toilet? Get down to the details on how you want your apartment to be. I plan to live alone but would like to have a guest room ready for my loved ones anytime— so a 2 bedroom apartment is perfect.I also know that I do not like a huge apartment, somewhere below 800sqf would be great. Then next, start imagining what type of facilities would you like? Maybe a common BBQ area? OR a swimming pool and gym? Get down to details.
3. Vision board
Now, the fun part is all about interior designing and decorating your apartment, right? Get in touch with your inner creative and start compiling a vision board— I love using Pinterest for this. You can see my apartment board over here!From every nook & cranny, start visualizing it. The color schemes in each room, type of bedding, to the plants you’d like to have in your living room. Remember, make it realistic as well. As much as I love fitting a huge tub in my bathroom, I would have to settle for a small Japanese soaking tub instead.
4. Talk about it
It’s time to get serious. Talk to your friends, talk to your lover, talk to your parents about your dream house. Make them know that you have intentions to make your dream house happen. When you start talking about it as you get determined, the Universe will connect your dreams into your reality. So don’t hide this dream, talk about it while you work for it.5. Get serious about your finances
Oh, I despise thinking of finances— it puts a great weight on me. However, buying or getting your own apartment is not cheap. Talking about your finances is unavoidable. Think about how will you afford your monthly installments, or rent— if you’re looking to rent an apartment instead. Allocate your budget and adjust your expenditures as needed.Take a good look at your finances again after that. If your current situation allows you to pay your housing loans/rent without much worries then that’s a good sign! If not, don’t get disheartened, work out a way to increase your income or perhaps find a cheaper apartment that’s within your budget.
6. Daydream a little
Throughout your daily lifestyle, daydream about walking through your apartment or going home to your own kitchen. Imagine yourself making your own cup of coffee in your new apartment’s kitchen while you’re in line at Starbucks. Daydream. Feed your mind with imagination and soon it will be true. I daydream a little too often, when I’m driving home, I would love to imagine myself walking through my apartment’s door into my beautiful living room.Once you’ve done your part, let the Universe hold the reigns. Things will slowly fall into part. Manifesting is easy and real. It shouldn’t mean that you just have to think about it, but put your presence + mind into imagining it. Do your work and soon, the Universe will grant you all of your manifestations.
To an independent lifestyle,
Melody
Why + How should we forgive those who has hurt us?
Tuesday, September 1, 2020
How to forgive someone and grow from it
People take forgiveness for granted. When we tell someone they’re forgiven, they think it is okay to do something over and over again. I’ll spill some tea now.
When you forgive someone, it is all for yourself— not much for the other person. When you forgive someone, you make space in your troubled soul + heart for better things. We move forward by forgiving all the things that have wounded us, even when we know the act of forgiveness is truly difficult.
Forgive not for others, but for yourself.
- Forgiveness is not about forgetting
- Forgiveness does not excuse the other person’s behaviour
- Forgiveness does not mean that you should stop feeling a certain way
- Forgiveness does not mean that you are weak
When you forgive someone, it is all for yourself— not much for the other person. When you forgive someone, you make space in your troubled soul + heart for better things. We move forward by forgiving all the things that have wounded us, even when we know the act of forgiveness is truly difficult.
Why should we forgive?
Forgive not for others, but for yourself.
Your heart is tattered and sore yet why are you still reluctant to let it heal? When you are held back by the past + hurt, you cannot heal. Take it this way— if you’re holding onto a full glass of water, your arms feel sore by the hour. It felt heavier and heavier, your arms hurt more and more. But when you finally let go of the glass of water, relief rushes into you as your arms start to feel the alleviating pain.
Forgiveness is the same. When we hold back all the pain and grudge, it gets heavier and heavier. We’re not able to move forward. The act of forgiveness is kindness to ourselves— we must learn that forgiveness is not for others, but for yourself.
It is never easy to forgive— it feels like taking a part of ourselves and chucking it out the window just so we’d heal all over again. Blinded by anger or grief, sometimes we refuse to forgive because we do not want to show the others that their actions are excused.
1. Accept and acknowledge something has happened and it has wounded you.
Forgiveness is the same. When we hold back all the pain and grudge, it gets heavier and heavier. We’re not able to move forward. The act of forgiveness is kindness to ourselves— we must learn that forgiveness is not for others, but for yourself.
It is never easy to forgive— it feels like taking a part of ourselves and chucking it out the window just so we’d heal all over again. Blinded by anger or grief, sometimes we refuse to forgive because we do not want to show the others that their actions are excused.
How do we learn to forgive?
When you live in denial, it gives you the benefit of the doubt. When you stop acknowledging someone has wounded you, you practically brush it off or either end up putting blame on yourself.
2 .Look for the lesson.
If something has happened, tell yourself that it is to teach or show you something and that is what you have to look for. Lessons are valuable and as I’ve always believed, the Universe teaches us in very peculiar ways.
3. Read your affirmations.
3. Read your affirmations.
Words have very odd powers towards your soul + mind. We construct our feelings and mindset with words we hear and tell ourselves daily. Read yourself positive affirmations and you’ll find that it helps not only to forgive but to grow.
4. Decide if you want to tell the other person you have forgiven them.
4. Decide if you want to tell the other person you have forgiven them.
Sometimes going back to the cause of your pain + anger is traumatizing. IF you feel like telling the other person may trigger an upsetting feeling within you— do not tell. But if you feel like your feelings need some sort of closure, then by all means.
5. Send love to yourself and others.
When you choose to forgive, give out more love to the people around you. Do things to attract love towards you. Bring yourself out, or cry your heart out. Binge on Ben & Jerry’s or cheeseburgers while watching FRIENDS. Do things that remind you how much you love your life.
Unchain yourself. Let the heavy shackles drop off your skin. Let it hit the ground so you’re light and free to run. Remember, forgive not for others, but for yourself.
Find strength in forgiveness,
Melody
Darling, forgiveness is like ending a chapter— you end a bad chapter and move on to the next. Forgiveness is never about the other person, but for yourself. It is an effort and those who are willing to put in those efforts are those who can finally break free from the chains.
Unchain yourself. Let the heavy shackles drop off your skin. Let it hit the ground so you’re light and free to run. Remember, forgive not for others, but for yourself.
Find strength in forgiveness,
Melody
6 Life Lessons from my father
Tuesday, August 25, 2020
The earthy smell of grounded coffee beans wafted across the living room, “Melody, everyone needs a little bit of luck.”
He sipped oh my coffee loudly, smacking his lips as if it made the milky brown concoction any tastier. He love his coffee with dollops of creamer.
I looked up at him a little confused, it seems as if he felt like that particular moment was a good time to share some of his wisdom— if so, I am all ears.
You can work your ass off— waking up at 5.00AM every day so you will be the first to rise, hustle 17 hours a day and yet without lady luck on your side, your efforts will not be rewarded fruitfully. Why do some people do the minimal yet receive more? Because of luck. As if sprinkled with magic dusts, a little bit of luck can be your guidance or aid. Build your luck and the rest will follow.
Not only in career path, we must always put our hearts into making something happen. If you’re enjoying a leisure activity of drawing, put your heart into completing it. The same applies for making friends— put your heart into getting to know the other person. Everything you do, put your heart into it. That is when you know you’ve done your best.
While imagining the worst case scenario may provide you with a Plan B, C, or D to counter any issues, being pessimistic even before you try something is not how life should be lived. Think about the opportunities and possibilities. Reach for them and not hold yourself back with the negative beliefs and thoughts.
This is a tough lesson to swallow. I live my 26 years of life, easily comparing myself to others— but also as my father says, “If you compare yourself to others, you'll never be happy.” You’ll never learn gratitude if you compare yourself. Be content with what you have and where you are now.
Just live life by your own means. Define your own life. If you’re successful— working as a CXO in a huge company then it is yours to be, but if you are not, always know that there are people better and that is entirely okay. The importance in life is just to be you. Be your best self
While we don’t know what others have gone through, we should not judge at all. If you’ve come across someone richer than you, don’t get jealous easily— what have they done to reach that point of their lives? Perhaps they wear dirt-stained, worn out hands while yours still gloss with clear, soft skin.
My father is an odd man. He carries so much wisdom yet why does he not succeed in life? I don’t see him riding an expensive Porche, nor do I see him wearing shirts from Ralph Lauren. He is always in his shabby-looking t-shirt bought from the morning market and slippers.
I ponder to myself a little too many times: Why isn't he successful? That is, until I finally understood when he shared his 6 life lessons, I learned that he might not have much monetary richness, but he is rich with happiness— that is what makes life worth living. And this is his definition of success.
I nodded at my father after he finished his “lecture”. It will take some time to digest his lessons.
Read more: Why Fathers Are Often Underrated in Contributing To Who We Become Today?
I looked up at him a little confused, it seems as if he felt like that particular moment was a good time to share some of his wisdom— if so, I am all ears.
6 Life Lessons from my father
1. Everyone needs a stroke of luck
You can work your ass off— waking up at 5.00AM every day so you will be the first to rise, hustle 17 hours a day and yet without lady luck on your side, your efforts will not be rewarded fruitfully. Why do some people do the minimal yet receive more? Because of luck. As if sprinkled with magic dusts, a little bit of luck can be your guidance or aid. Build your luck and the rest will follow.
2. Put your heart into doing something
Not only in career path, we must always put our hearts into making something happen. If you’re enjoying a leisure activity of drawing, put your heart into completing it. The same applies for making friends— put your heart into getting to know the other person. Everything you do, put your heart into it. That is when you know you’ve done your best.
3. Be optimistic
While imagining the worst case scenario may provide you with a Plan B, C, or D to counter any issues, being pessimistic even before you try something is not how life should be lived. Think about the opportunities and possibilities. Reach for them and not hold yourself back with the negative beliefs and thoughts.
4. Never compare yourself to others
This is a tough lesson to swallow. I live my 26 years of life, easily comparing myself to others— but also as my father says, “If you compare yourself to others, you'll never be happy.” You’ll never learn gratitude if you compare yourself. Be content with what you have and where you are now.
5. There will be people better than you
Just live life by your own means. Define your own life. If you’re successful— working as a CXO in a huge company then it is yours to be, but if you are not, always know that there are people better and that is entirely okay. The importance in life is just to be you. Be your best self
6. We don’t know what others are going through
While we don’t know what others have gone through, we should not judge at all. If you’ve come across someone richer than you, don’t get jealous easily— what have they done to reach that point of their lives? Perhaps they wear dirt-stained, worn out hands while yours still gloss with clear, soft skin.
My father is an odd man. He carries so much wisdom yet why does he not succeed in life? I don’t see him riding an expensive Porche, nor do I see him wearing shirts from Ralph Lauren. He is always in his shabby-looking t-shirt bought from the morning market and slippers.
I ponder to myself a little too many times: Why isn't he successful? That is, until I finally understood when he shared his 6 life lessons, I learned that he might not have much monetary richness, but he is rich with happiness— that is what makes life worth living. And this is his definition of success.
I nodded at my father after he finished his “lecture”. It will take some time to digest his lessons.
Read more: Why Fathers Are Often Underrated in Contributing To Who We Become Today?
A life filled with wisdom is better than riches,
Melody
Why I Decided To Put Myself First Before Anyone Else
Sunday, August 9, 2020
Why I Decided To Put Myself First Before Anyone Else
I have been told that I’m a selfish child, just because I made decisions for myself rather than to please others. - yours truly, me.
We often grow up learning to put others before ourselves, hence we learn to help others and to please others. The idea of putting yourself first was not thought of by our parents or guardians, we’re told that putting ourselves first is a selfish act, but I beg to differ; it is time to debunk this society myth.
Putting yourself first before anyone else is not selfish, especially when you are doing so to care for your physical, mental and emotional health.
Here is something that we all need to understand. You are responsible for your life, to bring you wherever you want to be because nobody else is going to do it for you. How are you going to achieve what you want without putting yourself first?
To illustrate this point, let me give you an example.
A friend of yours called up after a tiring day of work, wanting to let go some of their steam but you, on the other hand, is exhausted and needed sleep to tackle tomorrow morning’s office meeting. In this case, which choice would you make? Stay up and listen to your friend while battling your sleepiness and cue for rest? Or to tell them you needed some rest right now because your mind and body need the rest?
Many would have picked the former: We’d help our friend because we are too shy to turn them away, or we refused to be seen as selfish, but at what expense? After a long time being on the phone, you finally head to bed feeling more lethargic than usual thus making you groggy at the next day’s meeting. All you wanted was to be able to present well, with a smile on your face but instead, you’re looking fumbling around nervously and feeling tired.
A friend of yours called up after a tiring day of work, wanting to let go some of their steam but you, on the other hand, is exhausted and needed sleep to tackle tomorrow morning’s office meeting. In this case, which choice would you make? Stay up and listen to your friend while battling your sleepiness and cue for rest? Or to tell them you needed some rest right now because your mind and body need the rest?
Many would have picked the former: We’d help our friend because we are too shy to turn them away, or we refused to be seen as selfish, but at what expense? After a long time being on the phone, you finally head to bed feeling more lethargic than usual thus making you groggy at the next day’s meeting. All you wanted was to be able to present well, with a smile on your face but instead, you’re looking fumbling around nervously and feeling tired.
Is that the outcome you truly wanted?
If your answer is no, then it is time to learn to prioritize yourself, for you. There is no shame in doing so and you must understand that it is not a selfish act.
Here are a six reasons why I put myself first before anyone else:
1. A form of self-care
Prioritizing yourself is a form of constant self-care. Caring for your needs and putting yourself first will cultivate a better mental, physical and emotional health. I learn to care for my own body and mind by making sure I do what I want — that is, as long as it does not harm others or put yourself in danger.
Every day, I make sure to slow down, enjoy my cup of coffee and toast before going to work and I know with that, I will start my day at work in a better mood and with more energy. This is a simple act of putting myself first before tackling my daily routine.
I understand that to get to where I want to be, I have to do it myself. I always strive to build a better life for myself. We all long to enjoy a life where we can have whatever we want, whenever we want; but to get to that place of comfort and freedom, prioritizing yourself is of utmost importance.
2. My priority is me
I understand that to get to where I want to be, I have to do it myself. I always strive to build a better life for myself. We all long to enjoy a life where we can have whatever we want, whenever we want; but to get to that place of comfort and freedom, prioritizing yourself is of utmost importance.
For example, instead of hanging out with my friends every Saturday night just so they would have a hangout buddy, I choose to stay home and work on my side hustle, as my priority is to generate more income so I can get to where I want to be. This is an act of putting myself first before entertaining others.
Are you tired of always being taken advantage of? In many workplaces, as employees, we’re often told to take on more tasks than we can handle and this causes burnout. A simple way to set boundaries is to say “No”. When a coworker approaches me to ask for a favor in which I know that I’m not able to comply, I think of myself first.
3. It helps set boundaries
Are you tired of always being taken advantage of? In many workplaces, as employees, we’re often told to take on more tasks than we can handle and this causes burnout. A simple way to set boundaries is to say “No”. When a coworker approaches me to ask for a favor in which I know that I’m not able to comply, I think of myself first.
Will I be able to take on that extra workload? Will I be able to deliver on time? Will this come at the expense of my health? If it’s not possible for me, I apologize and let them know that I’m not able to help them out, because at the end of the day, I will also have to face my own struggles when I complete my work as well.
When you start putting yourself before others, you’re showing people how you’re treating yourself, and letting them know how you prefer to be treated.
4. Your relationships will flourish
When you pay more attention to yourself, you learn to love yourself in many ways, and this in return cultivates a better relationship with yourself and others. The reason is that when you love yourself, you are more open, attentive and refreshing to be around. Your authentic self draws other people closer to you like a magnet.
If you ever come to a point where a relationship overwhelms you — be it with your parents, your partner or your friends, it is always wise to spend some time thinking about yourself and your needs first before trying to fix the relationship.
Imagine you have a bag full of candies and a child runs up to you asking for a few, you’d gladly give to them because you know you still have enough left for yourself. Giving away 3 - 4 pieces wouldn’t hurt, right? It applies the same to our lives. When we are so full of happiness and a giving heart, you’d tend to give more to others yet still feel satisfied with whatever you have.
5. We can give more when we are full
Imagine you have a bag full of candies and a child runs up to you asking for a few, you’d gladly give to them because you know you still have enough left for yourself. Giving away 3 - 4 pieces wouldn’t hurt, right? It applies the same to our lives. When we are so full of happiness and a giving heart, you’d tend to give more to others yet still feel satisfied with whatever you have.
I used to make dinner for my partner and it felt like a chore because I was always making food only he likes; but when I start thinking of what I would like to have for dinners too and making them for the both of us, I found that I was happily taking on this task more than usual. This is an act of putting myself first so I can give more.
Learning to put yourself first before others is a hard pill to swallow, especially when we do not like being seen as selfish.
Learning to put yourself first before others is a hard pill to swallow, especially when we do not like being seen as selfish.
I’m not saying we should cut off helping people altogether, but we should learn to balance between helping others and helping ourselves. It is time to accept that prioritizing yourself is something we will need to do to advance in life — to live happier, cultivate better mental, physical and emotional health, and to achieve a life you want.
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