What Happened To Ambition And Our Drive To Succeed As We Grew Up?
Thursday, October 29, 2020
*This is a work that I have edited + proofread on behalf of a friend.
The original written article before editing and proofreading is here.
As we grow into adults, we’re smothered beneath responsibilities upon responsibilities. We forget our curious, innocent ambitions and drive to succeed as we grow up. Some of us settle for ordinariness as we just want to be comfortable.
Oftentimes, we lack a strong desire or drive to succeed, mostly because as we grow older, we get beaten down by the voices and opinions of others. Our perspective changes and thus, our ambitions are kept in a locked chest, nearly forgotten. We get so busy fitting into society or our bubble of comfort, we just want to stay afloat with whatever we have— never pressing on for more success. Hence when we are in our comfort zones, our ambitions, and dreams change. We no longer dwell on what we desire but instead, we settle for mediocrity and comfort. That’s when we give up on ambitions.
Ask every 10-year-old what they want to be and they’ll give you very enthusiastic answers.
“I want to be an astronaut!”
“I want to sew dolls!”
Think about us when we’re 10-years-old. For me, it was 15 years ago. What did I tell people when they asked me what I want to be when I grow up? I can’t remember anymore. As we grow older, things change, and we can have new ambitions. But how far are we straying away from making it happen?
Curiosity gets the better of us at most times and when we go all in. Just like in a game of poker, “all in” means that we give our best shot at winning. However, most people are afraid of going all in. Why? Because they are frightened by what they think they will lose.
The same applies to life. We lose more than just money in life – loss of trust for the promises that we did not keep, loss of friendships, etc. What happens when you don’t hit your goals? You lose and this is what intimidates us. We are afraid to lose.
When we are afraid to go all-in and give our best when we try to achieve our goals, chances are, they won’t happen at all because we are afraid! By definition, success means an accomplishment of your purpose or your goals. But what is success without failure? If you said you wanted to be a reputable lawyer, go ahead! If you wish to start a business selling cookies, go ahead! Whatever it is you have in mind, don’t be afraid to get going and make it happen. The train of opportunities waits for no coward.
Not having a purpose in life and just passing your days without a clear ambition in mind is lackluster. When you have a purpose, knowing what you love and have passion for your ambitions, you get a clearer picture. A great example to find your purpose is to ask yourself “why”. In many instances, most people would ask why they are doing something. An example, why am I eating? Because I’m hungry. Or why am I drawing? Because it ignites my passion. “Why am I working?” Because I need money. The answers to your “why” is what fuels your drive to succeed.
When was the last time you asked yourself why you are doing something? Why are you in this current situation or place in life? And just because we forget to question ourselves, our purpose gets blurred. Our ambition seems foggy and as time passes, it gets forgotten.
There are many inconsistencies in life. As working adults, there are times where we are tempted to procrastinate at work. Oh, I know we all procrastinate at some things, but we are so good at it, we just never get caught. We work hard for a day or two, and later on, we tend to become lenient towards ourselves at work, procrastinating at every chance we get because we might feel that “we can do that later” or“we can do this tomorrow”.
We promised to wash the dishes later - the next day came around and the dirty dishes are still in the sink. We promised to do it but we didn’t follow up on our promises sometime later. The same applies to our ambitions and drive to succeed. We keep thinking we can work on it the next day or the next. But to succeed in our ambitions, we need consistency.
When you choose to go all-in, you give yourself towards what you want to achieve in life. Be it your ambition or your goal. Your vision is what can be, what you believe, or faith in. Because you believe in it, you decide to take the leap of faith not knowing what is down in the rabbit hole. Will there be water? Or will you just hit the rock bottom? Most of us are caged in what we are taught and what we were told. However, isn’t it more exciting to go out and experience the world for yourself? Take the leap of faith.
Don’t be afraid, belief in yourself or your prowess. Having faith in yourself that you can do it and not letting voices or opinions tell you otherwise. If you think you can do it, do it. Start by doing the simplest things— you take one thing, one day at a time. Failures are bound to happen yet it's what you choose to do with those failures makes you take the leap of faith. Are you going to let an inconvenience or fear beat you down and stay down? Or are you going to get up and leap again?
Set milestones of tiny goals for yourself. Tiny goals will lead you towards your success and ambition. Tiny goals do look less intimidating and are easily achievable. Imagine looking at a giant pile of clothes to wash versus a few shirts to clean. Which would look more intimidating?
Tiny goals such as waking up at 6.00 AM every day or read one book a month is a great way to get started. Make sure you look it through because if you don’t what is the point? Discipline yourself and chug away. Set disciplinary actions if you don’t follow through. No video games, no heading out for a movie if you are not able to complete your tiny goals of the day. Starting the first step in the right direction is better than to not do anything at all. To find your drive, you need to know why you are doing it.
Introspection is one of the most common ways to understand yourself. Your goals, emotions, and thoughts. The same applies to this scenario. Ask yourself, what do you want to achieve or see yourself having – putting food on the table, working in reputable firms, start a life with your partner, afford better education for your children, etc. All these questions lead to asking yourself the big W-H-Y. To find your drive, you need to know why you are doing it.
You are working hard because you want to afford a new car next year. You’re burning the midnight oil to study hard because you want to enroll in your dream course at university. Every action is related to a “why”, so find yours. Ask yourself “why” you are doing whatever you are doing right now.
At the end of the day, finding out your purpose would help you to not only figure out why you would want to achieve a goal but consistently motivate you to continue working towards it.
If you hit the gym today, come home 20 minutes later, you look at yourself in the mirror, you will see - nothing. The next day you do it again - 20 minutes in the gym and you look in the mirror - nothing. However, if you do this every day, I promise you that you will get in shape— you will see results.
The same principle applies to drive yourself to succeed in your ambitions. It's not about how big or how much you can do, it's about how long you keep doing it. A journey never stops, it will only stop when you stop.
I do understand how tiring it is, to keep going but my ambition still seems so far. I feel like giving up. But if I take a quick look around, I’ll see how far I’ve come. Tough it out and continue, you’ll find that you’re closer and closer to the finishing line.
There are many things that we think we can’t do, and that happens when we stop believing and lose confidence in ourselves, thus not being able to put our hearts into making it happen. Most of us are lost, not knowing where to go from wherever we are— some of us are not even sure if we are on the right path in life. We get confused and intimidated by the people around us questioning us of our ambitions and future.
I’m here to remind you that you are not the first to go through this puzzling part of life and you will not be the last. As long as you remember that you used to have great, big ambitions, stay the course— no matter how big or how many things you dream of wanting in life. It is always our ambitions that drive us forward. Stop staying stagnant in your garden, water it, and watch it bloom.
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This article was initially published on Crunch by Nuffnang here.
The original written article before editing and proofreading is here.
--
Self Check-In Questions You Should Ask Yourself On A Weekly Basis
As we grow into adults, we’re smothered beneath responsibilities upon responsibilities. We forget our curious, innocent ambitions and drive to succeed as we grow up. Some of us settle for ordinariness as we just want to be comfortable.
Oftentimes, we lack a strong desire or drive to succeed, mostly because as we grow older, we get beaten down by the voices and opinions of others. Our perspective changes and thus, our ambitions are kept in a locked chest, nearly forgotten. We get so busy fitting into society or our bubble of comfort, we just want to stay afloat with whatever we have— never pressing on for more success. Hence when we are in our comfort zones, our ambitions, and dreams change. We no longer dwell on what we desire but instead, we settle for mediocrity and comfort. That’s when we give up on ambitions.
Ask every 10-year-old what they want to be and they’ll give you very enthusiastic answers.
“I want to be an astronaut!”
“I want to sew dolls!”
Think about us when we’re 10-years-old. For me, it was 15 years ago. What did I tell people when they asked me what I want to be when I grow up? I can’t remember anymore. As we grow older, things change, and we can have new ambitions. But how far are we straying away from making it happen?
Why do we lose our ambition and drive to succeed as we grow up?
1. We are afraid of commitment
Curiosity gets the better of us at most times and when we go all in. Just like in a game of poker, “all in” means that we give our best shot at winning. However, most people are afraid of going all in. Why? Because they are frightened by what they think they will lose.
The same applies to life. We lose more than just money in life – loss of trust for the promises that we did not keep, loss of friendships, etc. What happens when you don’t hit your goals? You lose and this is what intimidates us. We are afraid to lose.
When we are afraid to go all-in and give our best when we try to achieve our goals, chances are, they won’t happen at all because we are afraid! By definition, success means an accomplishment of your purpose or your goals. But what is success without failure? If you said you wanted to be a reputable lawyer, go ahead! If you wish to start a business selling cookies, go ahead! Whatever it is you have in mind, don’t be afraid to get going and make it happen. The train of opportunities waits for no coward.
2. We do not have a clear purpose.
Not having a purpose in life and just passing your days without a clear ambition in mind is lackluster. When you have a purpose, knowing what you love and have passion for your ambitions, you get a clearer picture. A great example to find your purpose is to ask yourself “why”. In many instances, most people would ask why they are doing something. An example, why am I eating? Because I’m hungry. Or why am I drawing? Because it ignites my passion. “Why am I working?” Because I need money. The answers to your “why” is what fuels your drive to succeed.
When was the last time you asked yourself why you are doing something? Why are you in this current situation or place in life? And just because we forget to question ourselves, our purpose gets blurred. Our ambition seems foggy and as time passes, it gets forgotten.
3. We are lazy
There are many inconsistencies in life. As working adults, there are times where we are tempted to procrastinate at work. Oh, I know we all procrastinate at some things, but we are so good at it, we just never get caught. We work hard for a day or two, and later on, we tend to become lenient towards ourselves at work, procrastinating at every chance we get because we might feel that “we can do that later” or“we can do this tomorrow”.
We promised to wash the dishes later - the next day came around and the dirty dishes are still in the sink. We promised to do it but we didn’t follow up on our promises sometime later. The same applies to our ambitions and drive to succeed. We keep thinking we can work on it the next day or the next. But to succeed in our ambitions, we need consistency.
What should I do if I find myself losing my ambition and drive to succeed?
1. Take a leap of faith
When you choose to go all-in, you give yourself towards what you want to achieve in life. Be it your ambition or your goal. Your vision is what can be, what you believe, or faith in. Because you believe in it, you decide to take the leap of faith not knowing what is down in the rabbit hole. Will there be water? Or will you just hit the rock bottom? Most of us are caged in what we are taught and what we were told. However, isn’t it more exciting to go out and experience the world for yourself? Take the leap of faith.
Don’t be afraid, belief in yourself or your prowess. Having faith in yourself that you can do it and not letting voices or opinions tell you otherwise. If you think you can do it, do it. Start by doing the simplest things— you take one thing, one day at a time. Failures are bound to happen yet it's what you choose to do with those failures makes you take the leap of faith. Are you going to let an inconvenience or fear beat you down and stay down? Or are you going to get up and leap again?
2. Start small; Set smaller goals
Set milestones of tiny goals for yourself. Tiny goals will lead you towards your success and ambition. Tiny goals do look less intimidating and are easily achievable. Imagine looking at a giant pile of clothes to wash versus a few shirts to clean. Which would look more intimidating?
Tiny goals such as waking up at 6.00 AM every day or read one book a month is a great way to get started. Make sure you look it through because if you don’t what is the point? Discipline yourself and chug away. Set disciplinary actions if you don’t follow through. No video games, no heading out for a movie if you are not able to complete your tiny goals of the day. Starting the first step in the right direction is better than to not do anything at all. To find your drive, you need to know why you are doing it.
3. Find your purpose
Introspection is one of the most common ways to understand yourself. Your goals, emotions, and thoughts. The same applies to this scenario. Ask yourself, what do you want to achieve or see yourself having – putting food on the table, working in reputable firms, start a life with your partner, afford better education for your children, etc. All these questions lead to asking yourself the big W-H-Y. To find your drive, you need to know why you are doing it.
You are working hard because you want to afford a new car next year. You’re burning the midnight oil to study hard because you want to enroll in your dream course at university. Every action is related to a “why”, so find yours. Ask yourself “why” you are doing whatever you are doing right now.
At the end of the day, finding out your purpose would help you to not only figure out why you would want to achieve a goal but consistently motivate you to continue working towards it.
4. Be consistent
If you hit the gym today, come home 20 minutes later, you look at yourself in the mirror, you will see - nothing. The next day you do it again - 20 minutes in the gym and you look in the mirror - nothing. However, if you do this every day, I promise you that you will get in shape— you will see results.
The same principle applies to drive yourself to succeed in your ambitions. It's not about how big or how much you can do, it's about how long you keep doing it. A journey never stops, it will only stop when you stop.
I do understand how tiring it is, to keep going but my ambition still seems so far. I feel like giving up. But if I take a quick look around, I’ll see how far I’ve come. Tough it out and continue, you’ll find that you’re closer and closer to the finishing line.
There are many things that we think we can’t do, and that happens when we stop believing and lose confidence in ourselves, thus not being able to put our hearts into making it happen. Most of us are lost, not knowing where to go from wherever we are— some of us are not even sure if we are on the right path in life. We get confused and intimidated by the people around us questioning us of our ambitions and future.
I’m here to remind you that you are not the first to go through this puzzling part of life and you will not be the last. As long as you remember that you used to have great, big ambitions, stay the course— no matter how big or how many things you dream of wanting in life. It is always our ambitions that drive us forward. Stop staying stagnant in your garden, water it, and watch it bloom.
--
This article was initially published on Crunch by Nuffnang here.
5 Tips on How I Manage My Money
Thursday, October 15, 2020
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| Image from Pexels |
5 Tips on How I Manage My Money
*Note: I’m not a financial blogger nor do I have the experience to teach others about managing money. This post is just a compilation of my experience on how I manage my money.
I’m writing this after feeling so inspired by one of my favorite finance bloggers, RinggitOhRinggit. Suraya is such an inspiration to everyone like me— beginners who had a hard time learning to manage money.
I grew up not learning how to plan my finances. The only thing I was taught, was to save as much money as I could. But at this age, saving is something not easily achievable when you live paycheck-to-paycheck and it is definitely not the smartest way to live till retirement.
How I wished schools had taught us the proper ways of budgeting, saving and financial management— in fact, schools should be teaching money management to encourage students to understand the value of money, the pains of earning money and how easy it is to manage your finances.
Yes, you read that right— How easy it is to manage your finances.
Yes, you read that right— How easy it is to manage your finances.
Before I get started, let me give you a quick grasp of my current financial situation.
I am earning a low 5-digit income annually, that is actually very little for someone who is brave enough to be sharing my money management tips. I am in debt. Yes. I have a housing loan to pay, responsibilities towards my family and a lifestyle to sustain.
Before anyone comes at me for not having the right credentials to be talking about money management, please read the disclaimer on top. I am here to share and talk about how I manage my finances.
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| Image from Pexels |
Without further ado, these are my secret tips on managing money.
1. Budgeting your cash.
Out of the many ways you may find on the internet, or perhaps read RinggitohRinggit’s post on budgeting styles, I believe in TWO (2) ways of managing my money.
Looking back at my budgeting spreadsheet years ago, I cringed in horror. The entire spreadsheet is daunting, to say the least. I hated the little boxes and weirdly colored columns, filled with numbers and math that I find so difficult to digest. I stopped after 2 months.
But with the right blend of comfort + details, track & record is one of my favorite ways to do budgeting, and paired with the 50/30/20 method, I ensure my money is always well-tracked and saved in my piggy banks. The 50/30/20 ratio is entirely adjustable, sometimes I make it 40/30/30 (depending on my schedule of unavoidable events such as weddings, funerals etc)
The moment I receive my disposable income, I will place 50% into my savings, 30% into my needs, and 20% into my wants. With that in mind, after putting in 50% of my income into the bank, I work on my track & record to monitor my expenses.
- Track & Record
- 50/30/20
Looking back at my budgeting spreadsheet years ago, I cringed in horror. The entire spreadsheet is daunting, to say the least. I hated the little boxes and weirdly colored columns, filled with numbers and math that I find so difficult to digest. I stopped after 2 months.
But with the right blend of comfort + details, track & record is one of my favorite ways to do budgeting, and paired with the 50/30/20 method, I ensure my money is always well-tracked and saved in my piggy banks. The 50/30/20 ratio is entirely adjustable, sometimes I make it 40/30/30 (depending on my schedule of unavoidable events such as weddings, funerals etc)
The moment I receive my disposable income, I will place 50% into my savings, 30% into my needs, and 20% into my wants. With that in mind, after putting in 50% of my income into the bank, I work on my track & record to monitor my expenses.
I love using bullet journals to track & record my expenses. Perhaps I am old school, I prefer pen and paper. My go-to notebooks are obviously from Shopee, shop yours here!
2. Slash unnecessary expenses
What do you really need?
Sit down and ask yourself, do you really need that cup of Starbucks Cappuccino every Tuesday morning? OR can you settle with just a cup of 3-in-1 coffee from your office pantry? Slash your unnecessary expenses, this will give additional cash for your needs and savings. If I do not need something immediately or if there is a cheaper alternative, I would often pick the cheaper alternative.
Oftentimes, I go on a month of no-buy every quarter year. After 3 months of self-pampering, 1 month will be a strict no-buy month where I will save more cash or allocate more money to clear my debts. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t buy groceries for food, or replace cracked mirrors in your washroom. A no-buy month is about your lifestyle and personal items. Things that make you happy, but logically, you don’t need it. For example, a new CD or a new pair of sneakers. On a no-buy month, you'll have to be discipline and stop yourself from splurging on feel-good items.
Pay off your loans, debts and anything you owe to people or the bank as soon as possible. If you put in $100 every month into ridding your debt, you’ll be debt free faster and in no time. Be disciplined about paying off your debt. I for one, prefer to pay in huge amounts.
3. Set a no-buy month
Oftentimes, I go on a month of no-buy every quarter year. After 3 months of self-pampering, 1 month will be a strict no-buy month where I will save more cash or allocate more money to clear my debts. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t buy groceries for food, or replace cracked mirrors in your washroom. A no-buy month is about your lifestyle and personal items. Things that make you happy, but logically, you don’t need it. For example, a new CD or a new pair of sneakers. On a no-buy month, you'll have to be discipline and stop yourself from splurging on feel-good items.
4. Get rid of your debt
Pay off your loans, debts and anything you owe to people or the bank as soon as possible. If you put in $100 every month into ridding your debt, you’ll be debt free faster and in no time. Be disciplined about paying off your debt. I for one, prefer to pay in huge amounts.
What I would do is to take a whole chunk of money, even if it means dipping into a bigger percentage of my savings to pay off my debt. This is all because I believe that the faster I rid my debt, I can fully focus on seeing more money in my bank account.
5. Create a cash cushion / emergency fund
When you’re comfortable with your current budget and income/expenses, it is time to arrange some money for your cash cushion. This cash cushion and emergency fund are the first thing you will touch during a rainy day. Create a separate bank saving account to store your emergency fund. Store enough emergency funds for a 5-month expense. What I do is to gather my emergency fund and put them in a FD (albeit low return interest rates, the FD keeps me from touching my emergency fund) You may add into your emergency fund whenever you feel like doing so.
I may not be a professional in managing my finances, but I’d like to think I am doing good enough for now. While I am still following + reading up on financial management books and blogs, I believe I’ve implemented the most basic essence of money management into my life.
Darling, we all have to start somewhere. In this beautiful world, money plays a huge part in our lives— the ability to manage your finances will bring you far in life.
Love money + attract more money,
Melody
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