Why I refuse to have a morning routine
Thursday, September 24, 2020
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Why I refuse to have a morning routine
There is only one correct way to start your morning- and it is to not force yourself into a morning routine.
Morning routines have become so superficial and glorified when in truth, it all started as an advice for those who needed an extra push before charging into their daily life. We get absorbed into the idea where everyone preaches about their perfect morning routine— or how you should have a morning routine to stay productive.
When I stumbled upon the idea of a perfect morning routine, everything seemed so exciting. I was excited to kick-start a new day just because I have crafted my own perfect morning routine on pen and paper the night before.
"I can finally fit into this community where morning routines are praised."
Did I follow through my morning routine? No. I may have practiced my perfect morning routine for a good few days before it fell through entirely. Why is that? Perhaps I do not have enough discipline? Or does my morning routine need a good tweaking?
Allow me to admit my shame. I beat myself up for not following through a morning routine like everyone else.
I felt like shit. Am I unworthy to be part of the world where everyone has a productive morning routine?
I realised that stumbling in the morning, looking for my in-room slippers while I waddle to the washroom is my morning routine. Or I wake up and plug in my earphones to catch up on Netflix before I get up from my bed. It varies, but it makes me feel good.
I’m a morning person, I wake up early to start the day— but I do not have a productive morning routine because going with the flow is how I do things. Having a strict routine makes me feel overworked + overwhelmed.
But I learned that morning routines are not for everyone
Did I follow through my morning routine? No. I may have practiced my perfect morning routine for a good few days before it fell through entirely. Why is that? Perhaps I do not have enough discipline? Or does my morning routine need a good tweaking?
Allow me to admit my shame. I beat myself up for not following through a morning routine like everyone else.
I felt like shit. Am I unworthy to be part of the world where everyone has a productive morning routine?
I realised that stumbling in the morning, looking for my in-room slippers while I waddle to the washroom is my morning routine. Or I wake up and plug in my earphones to catch up on Netflix before I get up from my bed. It varies, but it makes me feel good.
I’m a morning person, I wake up early to start the day— but I do not have a productive morning routine because going with the flow is how I do things. Having a strict routine makes me feel overworked + overwhelmed.
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But morning routines are a part of self-help. Shouldn’t you need it?
Yes and no.
In the end, having a morning routine really boils down to you. If you think a morning routine works wonderful for you and helps you cultivate a growth mindset, then that is great! But if having a morning routine burdens you, then it is best to just do your own thing.
Morning routines should not be preached or forced on one another— after all, we all work in different ways. Some days, having a morning routine makes me feel great, on other days, I dread waking up to accomplishing my routines. An exception, read here to find out about my morning routine during MCO (yes, I had a morning routine back then because it works wonderful for me as have to I work from home)
Darling, it is not a crime to not start your day productive or feeling energetic. The simple truth is that morning routines are to help enhance your day, if you feel better without a morning routine, then do not force yourself into one.
A life without a morning routine is, perhaps better?
Melody
9 Ways To Fall In Love With Your Own Company
Thursday, September 17, 2020
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9 Ways To Fall In Love With Your Own Company
The most difficult lesson I’ve learned throughout this year is to be content with my own company. Sometimes we all forget how to be happy being by ourselves. We put our happiness on spending time with others— shopping, cafe hopping, dining and texting. But when the busy world gets too busy for us, what do we do?
I’ve struggled to be happy and content with my own company. We’ve gotten so used to others surrounding us, we forgot how to be by our own company. The loneliness creeps in and settles in my tiny heart, stuck on it like a deep, black goo as it spreads all over. I hated being alone— little did I know, I wasn’t truly alone. I still have myself.
Emptiness + loneliness is a very valid emotion you feel when you’re alone.
Even if everyone leaves you, you still have you. Your beautiful soul and body that will be with you till the end of time. The emptiness + loneliness will not go away until you learn to be alone with yourself. Connect with yourself, stop looking for others to connect with you.
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9 Ways To Fall In Love With Yourself
1. Movie time
There are times when you love to re-watch a movie, but wasn’t able to because “I’ve watched it before, let’s watch something else!”. Seems familiar? Now that you’re with yourself, re-watch your favorite movies as many times as you like! Immerse yourself in your favorite movie + a bucket of popcorn. Best of all, no sharing of popcorn!
2. Read a book
If going out alone may feel embarrassing, bring your mind out for an adventure on your couch. Books are your transport to various parts of your imagination.
3. Self-reflective Q&A
One of the greatest ways to stay in touch with your inner self is by asking questions and answering them honestly. As years go by, we change little by little. We tend to get lost sometimes. Learn a little about yourself and embrace the new change in yourself.
4. Learn a new recipe
Find a recipe that you’d like to try and attempt in cooking it. Cooking alone is therapeutic at times, you can hum along when you’re busy with the skillet while delicious smells waft through your kitchen.
5. Dine alone
Go to the nearest cafe and grab a seat by the corner or window. Enjoy ordering food for yourself and savoring every single mouthful of food. There is no one to rush you through your meals or having to make small talks.
6. Focus on your story
Don’t get too caught up with everyone else’s life. If you’ve been worrying about someone, trust that they are very much capable of their own lives. You should and must focus on yours. Think about your life and where you are at this time. Are you happy? What else can you do to improve your life?
7. Call up your friends and family
Being content alone doesn’t mean you have to cut contact with your loved one. Drop them a text but don’t get too absorbed in waiting for their replies.
8. Do kind things for others
You don’t have to meet someone to be kind to them. Send a care parcel to your loved ones, or write them a postcard. Buy someone coffee, drop it off at their place and leave. Enjoy being kind to others.
9. Enjoy a day at the spa or home-spa
Pamper yourself. Scrub off the dirt on your skin, moisturize your skin. Feel good in your own skin after a good, clean, pampering spa session.
Now that you have started your journey towards falling in love with yourself, evaluate the difference it made you. Do you feel lighter emotionally? Do you feel happier and more fulfilled? Or do you still feel the stinging pain of loneliness?
Falling in love with yourself is the first step to falling in love with life.
Now that you have started your journey towards falling in love with yourself, evaluate the difference it made you. Do you feel lighter emotionally? Do you feel happier and more fulfilled? Or do you still feel the stinging pain of loneliness?
Falling in love with yourself is the first step to falling in love with life.
Darling, embrace being alone with yourself. When you love yourself, nothing else can hurt you.
Melody
How I manifested my own apartment in 4 months?
Thursday, September 10, 2020
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How I manifested my own apartment in 4 months?
It finally happened! After less than a year of desires + dreams, I have manifested my very own apartment— I now own a property which I can call my own. It felt like such an inconceivable dream, when every day seems to be passing by in a blink of an eye.
I’ve dreamed of having my own place— a space I can call my safe haven for my mind + body. I didn’t like to be under rules that would make me anxious, I didn’t like to live my life having to explain my every move and action. The word freedom resonates within my soul, sometimes I felt trapped as if a tree sparrow confined inside a cage. Where can I spread my wings? That’s when I knew it was time to get my own place.
Another one of the Universe’s calling.
Without going into too much detail, this apartment I found is a newly launched, in-development project situated a good distance from my current workplace, but a tad too far from home. Perhaps it’s a good time to move a little further from home?
This apartment will be completed by 2023, that would be another 3 years. While I am not keen to move in to my own place yet as there are some very personal complications in this part, I believe that I’ll be able to get most of my shit together in 3 years, so it’s a good buffer period to tie up some loose ends before embarking on a more independent lifestyle.
So, how did I exactly manifest my own apartment in 4 months? Within 4 months, I was able to grab hold, signed all the legal papers and made the first payments for my upcoming apartment.
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How I manifested my own apartment in 4 months?
1. Study + research
While manifesting this dream of mine, I’ve done my fair share of research. Things do not drop onto your open palms without work. I’ve contacted various real-estate agents, done my search on Google and talked to a few of my friends for their input before this deal dropped in front of my eyes, as if it was meant for me for the taking.2. Start visualizing the type of apartment you wanted
There are so many types of apartments out there, 2 bedrooms with 1 bathroom, or a 3 bedroom with 2 bathrooms. Or perhaps a studio apartment consisting of only 300sqf and a mini toilet? Get down to the details on how you want your apartment to be. I plan to live alone but would like to have a guest room ready for my loved ones anytime— so a 2 bedroom apartment is perfect.I also know that I do not like a huge apartment, somewhere below 800sqf would be great. Then next, start imagining what type of facilities would you like? Maybe a common BBQ area? OR a swimming pool and gym? Get down to details.
3. Vision board
Now, the fun part is all about interior designing and decorating your apartment, right? Get in touch with your inner creative and start compiling a vision board— I love using Pinterest for this. You can see my apartment board over here!From every nook & cranny, start visualizing it. The color schemes in each room, type of bedding, to the plants you’d like to have in your living room. Remember, make it realistic as well. As much as I love fitting a huge tub in my bathroom, I would have to settle for a small Japanese soaking tub instead.
4. Talk about it
It’s time to get serious. Talk to your friends, talk to your lover, talk to your parents about your dream house. Make them know that you have intentions to make your dream house happen. When you start talking about it as you get determined, the Universe will connect your dreams into your reality. So don’t hide this dream, talk about it while you work for it.5. Get serious about your finances
Oh, I despise thinking of finances— it puts a great weight on me. However, buying or getting your own apartment is not cheap. Talking about your finances is unavoidable. Think about how will you afford your monthly installments, or rent— if you’re looking to rent an apartment instead. Allocate your budget and adjust your expenditures as needed.Take a good look at your finances again after that. If your current situation allows you to pay your housing loans/rent without much worries then that’s a good sign! If not, don’t get disheartened, work out a way to increase your income or perhaps find a cheaper apartment that’s within your budget.
6. Daydream a little
Throughout your daily lifestyle, daydream about walking through your apartment or going home to your own kitchen. Imagine yourself making your own cup of coffee in your new apartment’s kitchen while you’re in line at Starbucks. Daydream. Feed your mind with imagination and soon it will be true. I daydream a little too often, when I’m driving home, I would love to imagine myself walking through my apartment’s door into my beautiful living room.Once you’ve done your part, let the Universe hold the reigns. Things will slowly fall into part. Manifesting is easy and real. It shouldn’t mean that you just have to think about it, but put your presence + mind into imagining it. Do your work and soon, the Universe will grant you all of your manifestations.
To an independent lifestyle,
Melody
Why + How should we forgive those who has hurt us?
Tuesday, September 1, 2020
How to forgive someone and grow from it
People take forgiveness for granted. When we tell someone they’re forgiven, they think it is okay to do something over and over again. I’ll spill some tea now.
When you forgive someone, it is all for yourself— not much for the other person. When you forgive someone, you make space in your troubled soul + heart for better things. We move forward by forgiving all the things that have wounded us, even when we know the act of forgiveness is truly difficult.
Forgive not for others, but for yourself.
- Forgiveness is not about forgetting
- Forgiveness does not excuse the other person’s behaviour
- Forgiveness does not mean that you should stop feeling a certain way
- Forgiveness does not mean that you are weak
When you forgive someone, it is all for yourself— not much for the other person. When you forgive someone, you make space in your troubled soul + heart for better things. We move forward by forgiving all the things that have wounded us, even when we know the act of forgiveness is truly difficult.
Why should we forgive?
Forgive not for others, but for yourself.
Your heart is tattered and sore yet why are you still reluctant to let it heal? When you are held back by the past + hurt, you cannot heal. Take it this way— if you’re holding onto a full glass of water, your arms feel sore by the hour. It felt heavier and heavier, your arms hurt more and more. But when you finally let go of the glass of water, relief rushes into you as your arms start to feel the alleviating pain.
Forgiveness is the same. When we hold back all the pain and grudge, it gets heavier and heavier. We’re not able to move forward. The act of forgiveness is kindness to ourselves— we must learn that forgiveness is not for others, but for yourself.
It is never easy to forgive— it feels like taking a part of ourselves and chucking it out the window just so we’d heal all over again. Blinded by anger or grief, sometimes we refuse to forgive because we do not want to show the others that their actions are excused.
1. Accept and acknowledge something has happened and it has wounded you.
Forgiveness is the same. When we hold back all the pain and grudge, it gets heavier and heavier. We’re not able to move forward. The act of forgiveness is kindness to ourselves— we must learn that forgiveness is not for others, but for yourself.
It is never easy to forgive— it feels like taking a part of ourselves and chucking it out the window just so we’d heal all over again. Blinded by anger or grief, sometimes we refuse to forgive because we do not want to show the others that their actions are excused.
How do we learn to forgive?
When you live in denial, it gives you the benefit of the doubt. When you stop acknowledging someone has wounded you, you practically brush it off or either end up putting blame on yourself.
2 .Look for the lesson.
If something has happened, tell yourself that it is to teach or show you something and that is what you have to look for. Lessons are valuable and as I’ve always believed, the Universe teaches us in very peculiar ways.
3. Read your affirmations.
3. Read your affirmations.
Words have very odd powers towards your soul + mind. We construct our feelings and mindset with words we hear and tell ourselves daily. Read yourself positive affirmations and you’ll find that it helps not only to forgive but to grow.
4. Decide if you want to tell the other person you have forgiven them.
4. Decide if you want to tell the other person you have forgiven them.
Sometimes going back to the cause of your pain + anger is traumatizing. IF you feel like telling the other person may trigger an upsetting feeling within you— do not tell. But if you feel like your feelings need some sort of closure, then by all means.
5. Send love to yourself and others.
When you choose to forgive, give out more love to the people around you. Do things to attract love towards you. Bring yourself out, or cry your heart out. Binge on Ben & Jerry’s or cheeseburgers while watching FRIENDS. Do things that remind you how much you love your life.
Unchain yourself. Let the heavy shackles drop off your skin. Let it hit the ground so you’re light and free to run. Remember, forgive not for others, but for yourself.
Find strength in forgiveness,
Melody
Darling, forgiveness is like ending a chapter— you end a bad chapter and move on to the next. Forgiveness is never about the other person, but for yourself. It is an effort and those who are willing to put in those efforts are those who can finally break free from the chains.
Unchain yourself. Let the heavy shackles drop off your skin. Let it hit the ground so you’re light and free to run. Remember, forgive not for others, but for yourself.
Find strength in forgiveness,
Melody
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