6 Life Lessons from my father
Tuesday, August 25, 2020
The earthy smell of grounded coffee beans wafted across the living room, “Melody, everyone needs a little bit of luck.”
He sipped oh my coffee loudly, smacking his lips as if it made the milky brown concoction any tastier. He love his coffee with dollops of creamer.
I looked up at him a little confused, it seems as if he felt like that particular moment was a good time to share some of his wisdom— if so, I am all ears.
You can work your ass off— waking up at 5.00AM every day so you will be the first to rise, hustle 17 hours a day and yet without lady luck on your side, your efforts will not be rewarded fruitfully. Why do some people do the minimal yet receive more? Because of luck. As if sprinkled with magic dusts, a little bit of luck can be your guidance or aid. Build your luck and the rest will follow.
Not only in career path, we must always put our hearts into making something happen. If you’re enjoying a leisure activity of drawing, put your heart into completing it. The same applies for making friends— put your heart into getting to know the other person. Everything you do, put your heart into it. That is when you know you’ve done your best.
While imagining the worst case scenario may provide you with a Plan B, C, or D to counter any issues, being pessimistic even before you try something is not how life should be lived. Think about the opportunities and possibilities. Reach for them and not hold yourself back with the negative beliefs and thoughts.
This is a tough lesson to swallow. I live my 26 years of life, easily comparing myself to others— but also as my father says, “If you compare yourself to others, you'll never be happy.” You’ll never learn gratitude if you compare yourself. Be content with what you have and where you are now.
Just live life by your own means. Define your own life. If you’re successful— working as a CXO in a huge company then it is yours to be, but if you are not, always know that there are people better and that is entirely okay. The importance in life is just to be you. Be your best self
While we don’t know what others have gone through, we should not judge at all. If you’ve come across someone richer than you, don’t get jealous easily— what have they done to reach that point of their lives? Perhaps they wear dirt-stained, worn out hands while yours still gloss with clear, soft skin.
My father is an odd man. He carries so much wisdom yet why does he not succeed in life? I don’t see him riding an expensive Porche, nor do I see him wearing shirts from Ralph Lauren. He is always in his shabby-looking t-shirt bought from the morning market and slippers.
I ponder to myself a little too many times: Why isn't he successful? That is, until I finally understood when he shared his 6 life lessons, I learned that he might not have much monetary richness, but he is rich with happiness— that is what makes life worth living. And this is his definition of success.
I nodded at my father after he finished his “lecture”. It will take some time to digest his lessons.
Read more: Why Fathers Are Often Underrated in Contributing To Who We Become Today?
I looked up at him a little confused, it seems as if he felt like that particular moment was a good time to share some of his wisdom— if so, I am all ears.
6 Life Lessons from my father
1. Everyone needs a stroke of luck
You can work your ass off— waking up at 5.00AM every day so you will be the first to rise, hustle 17 hours a day and yet without lady luck on your side, your efforts will not be rewarded fruitfully. Why do some people do the minimal yet receive more? Because of luck. As if sprinkled with magic dusts, a little bit of luck can be your guidance or aid. Build your luck and the rest will follow.
2. Put your heart into doing something
Not only in career path, we must always put our hearts into making something happen. If you’re enjoying a leisure activity of drawing, put your heart into completing it. The same applies for making friends— put your heart into getting to know the other person. Everything you do, put your heart into it. That is when you know you’ve done your best.
3. Be optimistic
While imagining the worst case scenario may provide you with a Plan B, C, or D to counter any issues, being pessimistic even before you try something is not how life should be lived. Think about the opportunities and possibilities. Reach for them and not hold yourself back with the negative beliefs and thoughts.
4. Never compare yourself to others
This is a tough lesson to swallow. I live my 26 years of life, easily comparing myself to others— but also as my father says, “If you compare yourself to others, you'll never be happy.” You’ll never learn gratitude if you compare yourself. Be content with what you have and where you are now.
5. There will be people better than you
Just live life by your own means. Define your own life. If you’re successful— working as a CXO in a huge company then it is yours to be, but if you are not, always know that there are people better and that is entirely okay. The importance in life is just to be you. Be your best self
6. We don’t know what others are going through
While we don’t know what others have gone through, we should not judge at all. If you’ve come across someone richer than you, don’t get jealous easily— what have they done to reach that point of their lives? Perhaps they wear dirt-stained, worn out hands while yours still gloss with clear, soft skin.
My father is an odd man. He carries so much wisdom yet why does he not succeed in life? I don’t see him riding an expensive Porche, nor do I see him wearing shirts from Ralph Lauren. He is always in his shabby-looking t-shirt bought from the morning market and slippers.
I ponder to myself a little too many times: Why isn't he successful? That is, until I finally understood when he shared his 6 life lessons, I learned that he might not have much monetary richness, but he is rich with happiness— that is what makes life worth living. And this is his definition of success.
I nodded at my father after he finished his “lecture”. It will take some time to digest his lessons.
Read more: Why Fathers Are Often Underrated in Contributing To Who We Become Today?
A life filled with wisdom is better than riches,
Melody
Why I Decided To Put Myself First Before Anyone Else
Sunday, August 9, 2020
Why I Decided To Put Myself First Before Anyone Else
I have been told that I’m a selfish child, just because I made decisions for myself rather than to please others. - yours truly, me.
We often grow up learning to put others before ourselves, hence we learn to help others and to please others. The idea of putting yourself first was not thought of by our parents or guardians, we’re told that putting ourselves first is a selfish act, but I beg to differ; it is time to debunk this society myth.
Putting yourself first before anyone else is not selfish, especially when you are doing so to care for your physical, mental and emotional health.
Here is something that we all need to understand. You are responsible for your life, to bring you wherever you want to be because nobody else is going to do it for you. How are you going to achieve what you want without putting yourself first?
To illustrate this point, let me give you an example.
A friend of yours called up after a tiring day of work, wanting to let go some of their steam but you, on the other hand, is exhausted and needed sleep to tackle tomorrow morning’s office meeting. In this case, which choice would you make? Stay up and listen to your friend while battling your sleepiness and cue for rest? Or to tell them you needed some rest right now because your mind and body need the rest?
Many would have picked the former: We’d help our friend because we are too shy to turn them away, or we refused to be seen as selfish, but at what expense? After a long time being on the phone, you finally head to bed feeling more lethargic than usual thus making you groggy at the next day’s meeting. All you wanted was to be able to present well, with a smile on your face but instead, you’re looking fumbling around nervously and feeling tired.
A friend of yours called up after a tiring day of work, wanting to let go some of their steam but you, on the other hand, is exhausted and needed sleep to tackle tomorrow morning’s office meeting. In this case, which choice would you make? Stay up and listen to your friend while battling your sleepiness and cue for rest? Or to tell them you needed some rest right now because your mind and body need the rest?
Many would have picked the former: We’d help our friend because we are too shy to turn them away, or we refused to be seen as selfish, but at what expense? After a long time being on the phone, you finally head to bed feeling more lethargic than usual thus making you groggy at the next day’s meeting. All you wanted was to be able to present well, with a smile on your face but instead, you’re looking fumbling around nervously and feeling tired.
Is that the outcome you truly wanted?
If your answer is no, then it is time to learn to prioritize yourself, for you. There is no shame in doing so and you must understand that it is not a selfish act.
Here are a six reasons why I put myself first before anyone else:
1. A form of self-care
Prioritizing yourself is a form of constant self-care. Caring for your needs and putting yourself first will cultivate a better mental, physical and emotional health. I learn to care for my own body and mind by making sure I do what I want — that is, as long as it does not harm others or put yourself in danger.
Every day, I make sure to slow down, enjoy my cup of coffee and toast before going to work and I know with that, I will start my day at work in a better mood and with more energy. This is a simple act of putting myself first before tackling my daily routine.
I understand that to get to where I want to be, I have to do it myself. I always strive to build a better life for myself. We all long to enjoy a life where we can have whatever we want, whenever we want; but to get to that place of comfort and freedom, prioritizing yourself is of utmost importance.
2. My priority is me
I understand that to get to where I want to be, I have to do it myself. I always strive to build a better life for myself. We all long to enjoy a life where we can have whatever we want, whenever we want; but to get to that place of comfort and freedom, prioritizing yourself is of utmost importance.
For example, instead of hanging out with my friends every Saturday night just so they would have a hangout buddy, I choose to stay home and work on my side hustle, as my priority is to generate more income so I can get to where I want to be. This is an act of putting myself first before entertaining others.
Are you tired of always being taken advantage of? In many workplaces, as employees, we’re often told to take on more tasks than we can handle and this causes burnout. A simple way to set boundaries is to say “No”. When a coworker approaches me to ask for a favor in which I know that I’m not able to comply, I think of myself first.
3. It helps set boundaries
Are you tired of always being taken advantage of? In many workplaces, as employees, we’re often told to take on more tasks than we can handle and this causes burnout. A simple way to set boundaries is to say “No”. When a coworker approaches me to ask for a favor in which I know that I’m not able to comply, I think of myself first.
Will I be able to take on that extra workload? Will I be able to deliver on time? Will this come at the expense of my health? If it’s not possible for me, I apologize and let them know that I’m not able to help them out, because at the end of the day, I will also have to face my own struggles when I complete my work as well.
When you start putting yourself before others, you’re showing people how you’re treating yourself, and letting them know how you prefer to be treated.
4. Your relationships will flourish
When you pay more attention to yourself, you learn to love yourself in many ways, and this in return cultivates a better relationship with yourself and others. The reason is that when you love yourself, you are more open, attentive and refreshing to be around. Your authentic self draws other people closer to you like a magnet.
If you ever come to a point where a relationship overwhelms you — be it with your parents, your partner or your friends, it is always wise to spend some time thinking about yourself and your needs first before trying to fix the relationship.
Imagine you have a bag full of candies and a child runs up to you asking for a few, you’d gladly give to them because you know you still have enough left for yourself. Giving away 3 - 4 pieces wouldn’t hurt, right? It applies the same to our lives. When we are so full of happiness and a giving heart, you’d tend to give more to others yet still feel satisfied with whatever you have.
5. We can give more when we are full
Imagine you have a bag full of candies and a child runs up to you asking for a few, you’d gladly give to them because you know you still have enough left for yourself. Giving away 3 - 4 pieces wouldn’t hurt, right? It applies the same to our lives. When we are so full of happiness and a giving heart, you’d tend to give more to others yet still feel satisfied with whatever you have.
I used to make dinner for my partner and it felt like a chore because I was always making food only he likes; but when I start thinking of what I would like to have for dinners too and making them for the both of us, I found that I was happily taking on this task more than usual. This is an act of putting myself first so I can give more.
Learning to put yourself first before others is a hard pill to swallow, especially when we do not like being seen as selfish.
Learning to put yourself first before others is a hard pill to swallow, especially when we do not like being seen as selfish.
I’m not saying we should cut off helping people altogether, but we should learn to balance between helping others and helping ourselves. It is time to accept that prioritizing yourself is something we will need to do to advance in life — to live happier, cultivate better mental, physical and emotional health, and to achieve a life you want.
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Why Fathers Are Often Underrated in Contributing to Who We Become Today?
Saturday, August 8, 2020
Why Fathers Are Often Underrated in Contributing to Who We Become Today?
“Dad, my idea didn’t work out. I’m a little devastated.”
Years ago. I remember coming home from school one day, flunking my science project, and was in tears because I was so invested in my ‘perfect’ science project.
“That’s fine. It’s not the end of the world.”
My dad said nonchalantly from the couch, barely sparing me a look.
I waited for words of comfort but there was none, I left for my room fuming. I told myself that I would not dismiss someone this easily when they needed comfort.
Fast forward to this day, I still think about the scenario but instead of feeling confused and angry, I understood my father’s actions and words. All he meant was that failing my science project is okay. I need to accept failure and try again, and I embody that wisdom from him.
Fathers are often misunderstood in contributing to who we become today.
We see our father as pillars of strength but when it comes to educating us— be it about schoolwork, sports or sometimes comforting us during tough times, they may come off as nonchalant. You can go to him with a problem with your schoolwork and instead of going step-by-step with you, he gives you the answer and asks you to figure out yourself.
I grew up thinking my dad taught me nothing, but let me tell you how wrong I was. I just didn’t realize sooner about how different both of my parents are, and my father is equally as great a parent as my mother.
Why are fathers often misunderstood in contributing to who we become today?
1. Fathers are goofy
My father can make funny scenarios in any situation and often jokes about it. It’s frustrating. When a roasted chicken in the oven didn’t turn out right, I would have panicked and felt dreadful. My father, on the other hand, makes a joke about the burnt chicken and tells us we’ll just order in for the night. They are goofy because sometimes, there is no point in worrying and regretting something that didn’t turn out right, so just laugh it off and find an alternative.
2. Fathers encourage risk-taking
While there are times when taking risks requires a big leap of faith, fathers are often the ones encouraging us to leap.
“If you don’t take the risk that comes with doing something you want, you’ll end up regretting one day.”
I never understood every time my father took the risk to build a business from scratch, but I came to realize that taking risks is how you make the most of your life. It was something he wanted to happen— that is why he is willing to take the risk than to regret not trying.
Have you ever been in a situation where you asked if you’re allowed to go over to a friend’s place for a sleepover, and your father allows it without any questions? In truth, their answers are always a “yes”, if they don’t sense any danger in doing so.
3. Fathers appear nonchalant
Have you ever been in a situation where you asked if you’re allowed to go over to a friend’s place for a sleepover, and your father allows it without any questions? In truth, their answers are always a “yes”, if they don’t sense any danger in doing so.
Sometimes you wish your father had more concern towards you, but to them, it just shows that they trust you to be on your best and wish you to have fun because you’re only going to be this young once.
Image: Women's Web
When we think our mothers are strict, wait until our father gets angry. That is when you know you’re in deep trouble. Deeper than any abyss. Most of the time, our father is chill and tends to not care much if you’re doing things rightfully; but when you’re doing something wrong, fathers won’t hesitate to discipline you strictly. I remember being scolded so harshly by my father and I still remember his lessons to this day.
Almost to the point where it seems like they do not care. When I had my first heartbreak, I was not only hurting but also frustrated at myself. My father wasn’t an emotional man, his approach towards my confused feelings was laid-back, it almost seemed like he didn’t care.
Image: Women's Web
4. Fathers discipline more strictly
When we think our mothers are strict, wait until our father gets angry. That is when you know you’re in deep trouble. Deeper than any abyss. Most of the time, our father is chill and tends to not care much if you’re doing things rightfully; but when you’re doing something wrong, fathers won’t hesitate to discipline you strictly. I remember being scolded so harshly by my father and I still remember his lessons to this day.
5. Fathers are always easy-going (ironically)
Almost to the point where it seems like they do not care. When I had my first heartbreak, I was not only hurting but also frustrated at myself. My father wasn’t an emotional man, his approach towards my confused feelings was laid-back, it almost seemed like he didn’t care.
He didn’t say a word of comfort or get mad along with me, but he did tell me that some things in life would hurt but don’t dwell on it. He cares for me, but he didn’t want to react emotionally to get me more riled up, hence it appears as if he doesn’t care.
Of course, in this time and age, some fathers helped a lot in doing house chores like washing the dishes, folding laundry, or cleaning the windows; but it is still the harsh truth that most of these duties fall onto their wives.
6. Fathers are silent workers
Of course, in this time and age, some fathers helped a lot in doing house chores like washing the dishes, folding laundry, or cleaning the windows; but it is still the harsh truth that most of these duties fall onto their wives.
As I grew up watching my father not helping with the household, I thought he was mostly lazy, but little did I know, he was constantly on call for work, taking business calls, having meetings at home and working longer hours than usual to make sure we all have our necessities met.
He’s a silent worker. I learned that he is fulfilling his responsibility, and we are expected the same for our roles in the household or any environment.
7. Fathers do not coddle you
I remember in the younger days, I wanted to ride a bicycle so badly. My father put me on a bicycle and asked me to start paddling. Getting wobbly and falling over at every attempt, my father just stood and watched while encouraging me to figure out how to work it myself.
Instead of spoon-feeding us with what we need, fathers always make us learn by ourselves. They do not offer things on a plate for us, instead, they give us an empty plate and ask us to fill it up ourselves, because we cannot expect to have things easy all the time.
Easily, fathers are mostly misunderstood for their unique ways of shaping us into who we are today. Our fathers taught us many lessons in so many unconventional ways, where it seems almost as though they are doing it wrong.
Easily, fathers are mostly misunderstood for their unique ways of shaping us into who we are today. Our fathers taught us many lessons in so many unconventional ways, where it seems almost as though they are doing it wrong.
Their approach towards nurturing us is sometimes confusing; but truth to be told, they have been guiding us and teaching us in their own little quirky ways. Our fathers will always play an irreplaceable role in contributing who we become today — however unusual their methods may be.
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How I Carve Out The Perfect Morning Routine To Stay Focused While Working From Home
Sunday, August 2, 2020
How I Carve Out The Perfect Morning Routine To Stay Focused While Working From Home
But is it truly a luxury when working from home compromises our productivity and focus?
When my office first announced that we must work from home, I was beyond ecstatic! Imagine working from the comforts of my room, that is almost as if I was given some part of the freedom to work remotely, away from the busy office and pressure of my managers staring at me across the desk.
Little did I know, working from home is actually extremely distracting.
My couch looks extra inviting to just sit and laze on, while my television is just calling for me to fire it up and binge my favorite shows. I couldn’t possibly get all my work done with these temptations. Now with all that distraction, working from home seems less like a luxury and more like a test of discipline.
Little did I know, working from home is actually extremely distracting.
My couch looks extra inviting to just sit and laze on, while my television is just calling for me to fire it up and binge my favorite shows. I couldn’t possibly get all my work done with these temptations. Now with all that distraction, working from home seems less like a luxury and more like a test of discipline.
When you find yourself easily distracted by the little things at home, a robust morning routine is one of the ways to kickstart your day and keep you focused throughout the day while working from home.
While most employees have started going back to the office since the CMCO, there will be some who are still working from home due to different shifts.
Here I will share some tips on building your perfect morning routine to keep you motivated and productive while working from home; these tips apply to freelancers and students as well (now that most classes are done online).
I’m not asking you to suddenly wake up before the sun rises; I’m saying if you usually wake up at 7 AM every day to head to work, you should be waking up at the same time even when you’re now working from home.
1. Wake up on time
I’m not asking you to suddenly wake up before the sun rises; I’m saying if you usually wake up at 7 AM every day to head to work, you should be waking up at the same time even when you’re now working from home.
While we’re able to cut down on commute time, waking up at the same time as you usually do helps to keep your sleep cycle regulated as well as offering you some extra hours to prep before work!
I wake up at 6.30 AM even when I’m working from home. It gives me a feeling of starting the day fresh and affords me a few extra hours to do something for myself instead of jumping straight into work.
When we’re working from home, we tend to cut ourselves some slack.
2. Read your daily affirmations
When we’re working from home, we tend to cut ourselves some slack.
“I don’t have to be as strict on myself as if I’m in the office / classroom.”
No. Put that thought away. Working from home demands just as much discipline as working in the office or classroom. We might be afraid to get into trouble with our managers or bosses back then, now we’re our own boss and manager. Keep yourself motivated by starting the day with some simple affirmations. It can be a short quote or a small paragraph, my personal favorite is:
Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment - Mahatma Gandhi.
3. Have a hearty breakfast
A hearty breakfast makes your tummy full and happy while keeping your mind focused and productive. Besides, having breakfast boosts your energy so you don’t feel sluggish until your next meal. Do not start your work until you have had your breakfast.
When we’re cooped up at home, it’s no doubt that we’ll mostly be thinking about what to prepare for our next meal and also looking for things to snack on. Stop yourself from looking for morning snacks or thinking of what to prepare for brunch by having a good breakfast before work.
These are all tiny distractions during your work; so if you can, get rid of them! I always prepare my breakfasts the night before to save time, overnight oats and sandwiches are my usual go-tos.
The truth is, when we are working from home, we do not move as much as we used to. You will start to feel some aches and pains when you are seated at your workspace for too long. I always find myself feeling awake with a sharper mind after a good workout.
4. Get your heart pumping and body moving
The truth is, when we are working from home, we do not move as much as we used to. You will start to feel some aches and pains when you are seated at your workspace for too long. I always find myself feeling awake with a sharper mind after a good workout.
At-home workouts are great to keep your heart rate up and body moving, also they rarely require special equipment. I practice simple at-home workouts for 10-15 minutes as soon as I wake up.
If you are the kind of person that hates exercising, a good alternative to get your limbs moving is to just take a walk around your house.
Ah, pajamas. The essence of working from home is to be able to work in our comfortable pajamas, isn’t it?
5. Mind your appearance
Ah, pajamas. The essence of working from home is to be able to work in our comfortable pajamas, isn’t it?
Working in your pajamas might give you all the comfort you wanted, but it affects your productivity and focus. Instead of your pajamas, perhaps try to put on nicer loungewear. A nice t-shirt and a pair of comfortable pants are a better alternative than slouchy pajamas.
They make you feel fresh; and thus making your mind think that you’re ready to tackle the day!
If your routine is to make coffee in your office’s pantry as soon as you get there, then do the same at home as well. Make your cup of hot coffee and bring it to your workspace to enjoy.
6. Incorporate one small routine from your office
If your routine is to make coffee in your office’s pantry as soon as you get there, then do the same at home as well. Make your cup of hot coffee and bring it to your workspace to enjoy.
My daily routine in the office is to greet everyone with a “Good Morning” as soon as I arrive. What I did was that I incorporate this daily routine into my morning routine.
I would send a good morning text message to all my coworkers and surprise, surprise - I found out that with this routine to start the day, I feel encouraged to work and complete my daily tasks.
Occasionally, we still get distracted despite taking the measures to avoid them, and that is okay if you know what you have to do when you snap yourself back into focus.
7. Have a to-do list of all your daily tasks
Occasionally, we still get distracted despite taking the measures to avoid them, and that is okay if you know what you have to do when you snap yourself back into focus.
A to-do list is a great way that works as a reminder of what you must complete for the day, such as respond to all emails, conference calls with the team, prepare presentation slides, etc.
I list my to-do tasks as soon as I start work and have it within my eyesight, so if I ever get sidetracked, I know where I’ve stopped and also how much I have left to do before I clock out.
It seems like there is a lot to do, but I assure you it is not as difficult. Now that you have read these simple tips on curating your perfect morning routine, it is time to implement it into your routine. Avoid feeling sluggish in the morning and get ready to kickstart your day with better focus and motivation to keep you productive.
It seems like there is a lot to do, but I assure you it is not as difficult. Now that you have read these simple tips on curating your perfect morning routine, it is time to implement it into your routine. Avoid feeling sluggish in the morning and get ready to kickstart your day with better focus and motivation to keep you productive.
Together, let us strive to work more efficiently and stay focused even as we work from home.
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This article was previously published on Crunch by Nuffnang, 10 Jun 2020.
Why We Should Start Having More Meaningful Conversations with Others and How
Saturday, August 1, 2020
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| Image from Pexels.com |
Why We Should Start Having More Meaningful Conversations with Others and How
Have you ever been in a situation where you just want to run away from a boring conversation? It is in fact, tedious, dull and a total waste of time because the conversation holds zero value to you. However here is something to share, conversations are not difficult nor unappealing. It is the way we hold these conversations that makes it boring.
Believe it or not, we are the reason why conversations suck. Without a doubt, we can all agree that most of us do not communicate well. Be it with your family, friends or business associates, we tend to have this tiny sinking feeling when we’re expected to hold a conversation— because we suck at conversations!
Why do we suck at conversations?
We use social networking services like Facebook and Whatsapp to communicate daily and this is where conversations become simplified and valueless. Got something to say? A simple text could do the trick.
We tend to avoid deep, long conversations whenever possible. When we avoid something for a long time, we become bad at it and this is exactly why we suck at conversations now. Don’t you think it is time for us to create value in the words we speak and seek more meaningful conversations with others?
Understanding why you should start having meaningful conversations with others:
1. It fosters genuine relationships
No relationship can be built upon simple greetings. Sure, it’s a good way to start but to truly know someone on a more personal level, having a deeper conversation is part of the process to nurture a relationship because it shows that you’re willing to connect with them. The first step to building a genuine friendship or any relationship is by having the right conversations.
2. It creates purpose
Idle chats are a pain. Even in professional settings, we tend to avoid making small talk as they hold almost zero value. In this busy lifestyle, idle chats are a waste of time for many of us. However, when we talk about more substantial topics, a purpose is created while we are conversing. It can be as simple as getting to know someone better or to find out about the latest world issues; purposeful talking is never a waste of time.
3. It makes an impression
Go out and talk to a few people, try to hold a conversation with them for a minute and you’ll find yourself making an impression on that person. A meaningful conversation could portray us to be more intelligent, observant and empathetic which is a good blend in any situation.
In a workplace, you could be a good employee but making an impression with simple, yet meaningful conversations could set your employer’s eyes on putting you up for your next big promotion!
Life experiences come from learning from others. Take an example: A good conversation with a successful businessman can teach you so much more than just soaking up yourself with books in the library. You learn about his routines, ways to succeed, and trade secrets; all with just a meaningful conversation.
4. You learn a lot more than just being book-smart
Life experiences come from learning from others. Take an example: A good conversation with a successful businessman can teach you so much more than just soaking up yourself with books in the library. You learn about his routines, ways to succeed, and trade secrets; all with just a meaningful conversation.
In any case, meaningful conversations hold a lot of knowledge that you might need to open new doors in your life.
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| Image from Pexels.com |
Now that you’ve understood the importance of meaningful conversations, here are some tips on how to start and maintain a good conversation.
1. Ask good questions
Instead of starting with “How are you?”, try something like “How did your day go?”. When we encourage others with the right questions, it could spark an interest in the other person. It shows you’re interested in their day and they’ll happily tell you much more than what they would initially say.
Remember, little changes like these prompt others to tell you more than just a one-two word reply and could escalate into a better conversation.
2. Go the extra mile
Be proactive in asking or replying. If you know the other person is having Chinese food for dinner, don’t just ask them, “How’s your dinner?” but try to include a little opinion of your own. Rephrase the question to something like “How was the Chinese food you had for dinner? I heard the dumplings were pretty good.” The extra mile that you go will build a good momentum to hold a conversation.
3. Show that you are engaged
A key to having a mindful conversation is to listen. Listen to what the other person is saying and have your own input. It is fine to not agree all the time, a little difference in opinion is a good way to delve deeper into a conversation. Always listen and pay attention to the details, surprise them by repeating or voice out an interest in the conversation.
For example, when someone shares their dislike towards a certain movie, listen to their reasons before formulating your own, “I do agree with the movie’s bad story, but I enjoyed its perfect casts. What do you think about the performance instead?”. Not only you’re showing interest in what the other person is saying, but you’re formulating your own input and asking in return.
4. Be humble and vulnerable
Arrogance is a conversation killer.
Don’t speak too highly of yourself, this is not a show-off contest. When you send signals to the other person that you’re being humble, they will feel that it is alright to be more authentic and intimate around you.
If a friend is having a hard time coping with a breakup and you know your own romantic affairs are doing extremely well, do not brag about it. Instead, try to empathize with them. Most people would cut a conversation short just because they do not feel comfortable speaking to someone arrogant.
Did you just come back from a vacation in Italy? Share them! Good memories and adventures are meant to be shared. If you have a story, don’t hesitate or keep them to yourself. Stories are a wonderful way to open yourself up to others while listening to what they can share in return.
5. Share a story
Did you just come back from a vacation in Italy? Share them! Good memories and adventures are meant to be shared. If you have a story, don’t hesitate or keep them to yourself. Stories are a wonderful way to open yourself up to others while listening to what they can share in return.
Do not be shy to share a story, even if it may embarrass you. You can talk about how you totally screwed up making a simple dish like mac & cheese and in return, the other person may have some very cool tips on making the perfect mac & cheese!
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| Image from Pexels.com |
It can never be too late to start having meaningful conversations with others. Good interpersonal skills will bring you much further in life while allowing you to enjoy more of what others have to offer. Build good relationships, make an impression, learn from others and create purpose with your newly found conversational skills.
Go out there, talk to people and remember these tips — you’ll find yourself enjoying conversations much more with others when you know how to go beyond the superficial small talks.
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This article has been previously published on Crunch by Nuffnang, 7 Apr 2020.
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